A tea for a thought.

Game On, You Haters. – Blair Waldorf

2012-02-05T11:30:00.003+08:00

Everywhere you go, you’ll always meet these two kinds of people; people you can be friends with and haters who of course, hates you.

Alhamdulillah, I have my own close friends that I can confide with in every situation. Now, when I say I have my very own close friends, that doesn’t mean I avoid being friends with others as well. I mean, come on, it is very unlikely that you are going to stick with your own besties like forever because at the end of the day, you won’t end up being at the same place as in universities and workplace together. Well, unless you had planned it awfully in a correct manner, then my bad.

Okay, what I am about to say may results in you thinking of me as an immature and stupid person for having to write this here. So, it’s better if you click the red cross at the very upper right corner of this page.

To be honest I am utterly upset when a friend who you thought as a good friend (not in a best friend manner) backstabbed you. I mean, yeah, from the look of how that person tweeted about the housemates and roommates, it really hits me thinking, “Hmm, if she can talk like that behind that person’s back, wouldn’t she said the same thing about me, no?”

But come to think of it that way, we can’t really make people into liking us anyway, right? People have their own opinion in living. Okay, I may sounds like I’m babbling not in my own accord. But, what the heck, right? At least I don’t give out the details including the name of that person. So? Sue me? Think again very, very carefully.

Well, I find it rather amusing seeing how hard teenagers try to fit in nowadays. Every time I send Amer and Afiq to tuition, the new generation has taken quite a step ahead. I see them with their skinnies and shawls that I know, cost quite a fortune there. During my time, we wore jeans and simple t-shirts or blouses to tuition. Well, I’ve been in that situation where you always want to look good among the peers but thank God that was back in high school. So, I can’t really say much now there is.

Now, I am comfortable with Baju Kurung and plain scarves, really. I mean for classes. Well, except for Mechanical Laboratory. I mean why bother coming to class with fancy dresses whastover right? I don’t know for I’ve always in Baju Kurung since primary, high school, matriculation (fascinating for us actually gets to wear anything but the plain white blouse and the dark blue or light blue skirt of the Baju Kurung). Now, I am not discriminating about what people should wear or not wear to class. It’s just that I’m used to wearing Baju Kurung. Pardon me.

Isn’t it tiring having to be pretentious to whatever people would say about you? I mean we can’t shut them up now, can we? I wish. But yeah, human makes mistakes. So do me, you, people around you and every single person on Earth. Now, every time you feel like the world is crumbling at your feet, always remember that there are people who would always be there for you. It’s a balance really. Haters on the left hand loved ones on the other. So, chill.

My blue Chevrolet Aveo is a second-hand. But I tell you, it is still in a pretty good shape. Now, where do I park my old Kembara? Sigh. Oh well, Amer will use it anyway by next year, Insya-Allah.

Alhamdulillah, I feel blessed though people give me a hard time from time to time. When you believe in Allah, He will always be there to guide you. Believe in Him, the Almighty God.

The things I’ve gone through lately are lessons that life could give. I’ll get through this in time. At times you may be on top, and you’ll be at the bottom eventually. Insya-Allah, I’ll pray for the best. Be optimistic in life.

P/S: Kelly is so cute in this video and forever will be the strong girl we all know. Yeah, let them haters be.

British vs. American English.

2012-02-04T19:48:00.005+08:00

I get mixed up with British and American English like all the time. It is rather confusing when your Microsoft Word software is set up to English (United States) and all you ever typed has always been British English. Well, sort of, and certain words would be underline in red colours just because I was writing them in British English. Pffft.

Now, I’m not some expert in English here but when your mother is an English teacher, you’ll tend to see the general picture here.

Since I was a kid, Mama has always getting me involved with Enid Blyton’s, Jane Austen’s (yup, the famous writer of Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility). To be honest, I would always shove away her gifts for I wasn’t interested in reading. Every time I looked over the pages with black letters, I would be in a foul mood for I just couldn’t understand every damn word I was reading. Seriously, a pancake on a tree? Like what is this? Enid Blyton with her imaginations.

Mama would give up sometimes seeing me prefer to sing or watching the news on the television instead just to annoy her. Yeah, I was that stubborn though she kept on reminding on how she would wallop me for not having to finish a page of Enid Blyton’s before I went off to bed every single night. Again, I just couldn’t be bothered.

I finally developed my imagination when I read which the Harry Potter series was. I remembered that it was the movie (film is used for British English) premiere of the third instalment of HP; HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Mama gave me the third book as a gift and at first I was struggling through the first few pages but after that, boom! The words finally make sense and I was hungry for more. No later, Abah would bring me to MPH every weekend. I was that nerd for instead of shopping like a normal teenager would do, I would be stuck around in MPH instead, with my dad, and no cute boys for me to usha. Kidding. A nerd like me never gets the boy. Again, I’m bullshitting.

Mama used to check my grammar on my essays that I’ll always try to stash away the papers for safekeeping. I hate it when she judged my writing. Well, it’s rather embarrassing, not hate, really. I mean, she is an English teacher after all. She would pin point my grammar.

But often she would remind me about using British and American English that one must not be confused. Generally, their spelling is a tad different than the other. For example; colour is British English while color is American English.

That would be a one-sided if I said American English is not appropriate. Maybe this article would bring justice; http://thestar.com.my/english/story.asp?file=/2010/10/1/lifefocus/6651077&sec=lifefocus.

P/S: I do not intend on disgracing the ever talented Enid Blyton. I was merely saying on how immaturely I was at reading.

PP/S: To girls out there, it doesn't matter if people call you ugly or what not. Because at one point, you'll meet the guy who would looked at you and fall for you for who you are. Enjoy your life while you still at it and remain grounded. No need to work hard to get a guy's attention. Please, that's just desperate. This song is for you, girls. Aren't the lyrics impeccably beautiful? <3

Lost But Now I Am Found.

2012-02-03T22:06:00.004+08:00

Again with the brain freeze every time I’m staring at the laptop. Good job, Zuleikha. Okay, here goes nothing.

The girls and I planned for a small reunion and stuff. We had it at New York New York Deli, One Utama (I’m not typo here except for the “New York” is really doubled). Little that I know, when we were just about to get up after paying the bills and everything, the manager and his staff came from behind me and Farhanah (all of us were still sitting at that time) and they presented us the ‘cake’. I was so shocked that Sorfina called my face at that time as Epic Face. They were really celebrating me and Farhanah’s belated birthdays for our birthday were in December.

The credits went to the girlfriends. Thank you so much, guys.

I spent quite a day shopping last time with Abah. I got myself a few blouses and jeans, a handbag and a pair of shoes for classes. My Vincci shoes were killing me so, yeah. But then it was rather hard really finding the right piece of clothes to buy. I can be quite picky sometimes in terms of the materials they used for clothes and not just because of the brand itself. What’s the point of buying branded clothes if you are really uncomfortable with the material? Oh right, for the sake of the brand. Pardon me. I mean I’m not saying that we should avoid these branded clothes whatsoever. I’m not really good at fashion anyway, in terms of the latest fashion trends, so I stick to what’s comfortable for me.

That navy blue Nike sport shoes are really nice, though. Sigh.

After a week of house chores, I need a break. So, I asked Farhanah and Shazalin out. Off we went to The Curve and Ikea. There is a bazaar every weekend at The Curve. We came across this booth that sell soft cookies by the name California Cookie Company. You can check them out on Facebook, though. Here’s their contact; CaliforniaCookieCo@gmail.com. Scrumptiously yummy the cookies, though. We had our lunch at Ikea. Of course we had their signature dish; Meatballs. Again, to die for. Then we walked back to The Curve to have our dessert at Cupcake Chic. Well, Farhanah was buying the ‘Naughty and Nice’ cupcake while having ourselves to the cookies that we bought too. After tasting them all, (the cookies), we decided to go back there and bought some more for our families. I tell you, it was worth every penny that we owned.

I love her. She’s so freaking pretty. She’s a newbie to the industry but people are comparing her to the likes of Adele, if I’m not mistaken. Her genre is Hollywood pop / sad core. Sigh. People can be so judgmental and discriminating, like all the time. GTH already, haters.

Call It What You Want.

2012-01-23T01:00:00.002+08:00

My worst fear for this semester has passé. So, I won’t ditch anything about the finals since the damaged has done.

It has been two weeks time at home already. Pretty much the same routine going on; sending Adam and this time Aisyah too, to school, doing house chores (since we don’t have a servant at home), cooking part-timely, etc. I’m not complaining since I’ve been doing it since ages. We have this thing about servants. Yeah, they’re taboo among us family. By the way, I’m tutoring for the brothers who are having their major exam; PMR and SPM. So Mama is totally depending on me in terms where I teach them Mathematics. Not because of me getting A1 and A- in SPM and matriculation respectively, really. Pun is highly intended.

I’ve been missing a lot in terms in contact with the outside world. All I know is that some Malay guy marrying a Mat Saleh GUY, this AUKU stuff going on where the students rallied in the middle of the night, now, was it at 2am? I don’t know. But of course, a whole lot of other things have been going on lately. Yes, a LOT. So, yeah. That’s life. When life gives you lemon, you’ll just throw the juice at people’s eyeballs. Okay, I don’t know what I’m bullshitting here. I got that somewhere on the web. Blimey.

So, Foster The People had shown up here in Malaysia for the first time. Daymmm. Gosh, I love them though they’re quite new in music industry. Let just hope they won’t end up being a one hit wonder. I tried this contest for Foster The People concert via Hotlink but somehow I didn’t quite make it. But it’s okay, really, for at least I tried, no? Rather than just sit there and do nothing. But yeah, so far, their songs are relatable to me somehow rather. I don’t know, that’s just me.

I need to start reading again and I have about two weeks of holiday left, I think. Blimey. Time flies so fast. And I have 8 books to finish and they’re; Christopher Paolini’s, Alex Flinn’s, Meg Cabot’s, Christopher Pike’s and brand new one form L. J. Smith’s; the new continuation of Vampire Diaries (I hate the drama series for Elena supposed to be blond!) and Jodi Picoult’s The Pact. You can do this, Zuleikha!

“Your social guides give you swollen eyes, but what I've got can't be bought so you can just call it what you want.”
Foster the People.

Robert Pattinson might have said this. Or so I think.

2011-12-12T20:03:00.004+08:00

“Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”

Officially Two Decades And Still Counting.

2011-12-12T19:01:00.008+08:00

And so, I am officially twenty. *cough

I have this tendency on thinking and taking things slightly overrated. I don’t know. Sometimes I wish I could just shut away my thoughts and don’t ever for a slight moment think about what people say about me. It’s just me taking things too seriously sometimes. Well, give it most of the time.

I would like to apologize to my friends if the way I talk sounds like I’m actually barking instead of talking politely. Seriously, I don’t have the heart to act that way either. It’s just my mind was focused on something else and well, I can’t do two things at one time now, can I? It takes time to know me and seriously, once I’ve become your besties, then you’ll be begging me to hang out like every second. This is just me babbling away. So, chill.

I want to go home. I miss my family, my friends and my cat, too. I long to window shop and I’m thinking of creating my own project. I hope this small project of mine can be done. I can’t reveal much for the project as it is just a mere thought. Hopefully, I’ll get to it. Insya-Allah.

How I hate pretending but in no other circumstances, people sometimes tends to make you do it anyway just for the sake of keeping the people sane or not mad at you. By the way, I find it quite tiring too in order to act what people would call as normal. Please, I have my own moments, too. I’m not some stereotype robot who can function normally twenty four-seven a day. I’m still learning on how to act civilize among people even with those that are not of my favourite of all.

Mama used to say this;
“We (women) can forgive but we can never forget.”

I guess this sums up to to everything that I have been and still going through so far. Yet I’m thankful enough that I’m alive to be able to look back and appreciate what I have right now. This is rather sappy here, don’t you think? Ooops, sorry.

Until then. Here’s something to ponder or salivating over (teehee). Look who's talking:

" Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow." via Robert Pattinson.

Lol. Funny how I can so relate this to myself. I mean the part where she cries out when she finds the book she wants.

I've yet to read Alysson Noel's The Immortals series, Christopher Paolini's Inheritance and many more that are stacked up back in my room at home (sigh), and now I'm rooting for Jodi Picoult's. #tulacitedia

"Look at the stars, Look how they shine for you, And everything you do, Yeah they were all yellow.
I came along, I wrote a song for you, And all the things you do, And it was called yellow.
So then I took my turn, Oh what a thing to have done, And it was all yellow"

Spin Like A Wheel

2011-12-06T19:59:00.008+08:00

My birthday is coming. And so the life of living after two decades will start pretty soon. I don’t know why I hate seeing this coming. In fact, I even hide my birthday status on Facebook because well, I don’t want people to start making me feel how old I am now which I already am feeling it already anyway. Sigh. Oh well, a birthday is just a birthday. The day that marked how many years you have been living on this Earth, so I’ll pretty much get over it anyway.

Bella’s Lullaby keeps playing on repeatedly in my mind. How touching knowing that the Twilight Saga is coming to its end by next year. Again, I’m feeling pretty emotional all over again. I don’t know. But I’m rooting for Renesmee and Jacob, no matter what happens. And everyone in the book, too.

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are these two people that I enjoyed looking over on Tumblr and reblogging on them has never been boring for me. I just love the way they stare at each other and how my eyes will go teary just by looking at them. Okay, I know it’s some fantasy whatsoever seeing how badly you want even the hero and heroine to be together even in reality but yeah, I am of those people who think it that way. Err, only with this whole Robsten thing. Trust me. So, let me be, okay.

Gosh, what a lovely couple that I’m dying enviously. (okay, entah pape).

Sorry for gushing over this whole Twilight stuff all over your screen but Twilight has been part of me since high school. Thanks to my best friend, Farhanah for introducing me to these series. It’s cool to have friends who share their interest with you.

I better start reading for my Test 2 for this Thursday, Statics and Basic Physics are at stake here. Thank God for ODE will be postponed until next Tuesday. Alhamdulillah.
P/S: Who are you calling me bahlul? Seriously, what gives?

PP/S: Funny how I'll end up skipping tracks of what I was about to say here in this blog.

Part Of Me.

2011-12-01T22:40:00.005+08:00

Funny how words can bring you to tears. Memories that often danced through your mind that they made your eyes stung and all the sudden tears trickled down your cheeks. Everything you do, almost everything that you tried to get your mind off things especially that particular thing, was so hard to forget and it taunts you like almost every second of your life. Your head told you to forget but your heart told you the otherwise. How I wish I could erase these thoughts off my mind but I can’t. I guess time heals all wounds. And the time is ticking that very slowly in pace.

I’ll get through this. Insya-Allah.

"Nothing compares no worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes their memories made
Who would have known how bittersweet
This would taste"
- Adele's Someone Like You

If only I can turn back time, how I wish I took the time to apologize and we could simply forget this and laugh it off together. And so, you and I can be like what we used to be. I guess THAT will never come true. I ain't worth any of it.

From the bottom of my heart, I wish that you knew how sorry I am for hurting you.

"Everyday
With every worthless word
We get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever; but be honest, babe
It hurts, but it may be the only way"
- Maroon 5's Nothing Lasts Forever

Imprinting is a cool thing.

2011-11-27T01:52:00.004+08:00

"My shaking jerked to a stop; heat flooded through me, stronger than before, but it was a new kind of heat - not a burning. It was glowing. Everything that made me who I was - my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self - disconnected from me in that second - snip, snip, snip - and floated up into space. I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was. Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing - to the very center of the universe. I could see that now - how the universe swirled around this one point. I'd never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was plain. The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood. It was the baby girl in the blonde vampire's arms that held me here now. Renesmee."
―Jacob imprinting on Renesmee.

Renesmee Cullen, Bella and Edward Cullen's daughter, is the object of Jacob's imprint.

In Breaking Dawn, when Bella became pregnant with Renesmee, Jacob was repulsed because he saw her as he saw Edward: a monster. Jacob made his hatred for the baby clear on multiple occasions, including when he became angry at Bella for saying the baby reminded her of him. Bella nearly died giving birth to the baby, who she named Renesmee. During Bella's transformation into a vampire, Jacob believed that she had died, and went to kill Renesmee. But when he saw Renesmee for the first time, he imprinted on her. He then realized why he was so pulled toward Bella during her pregnancy, and why Bella was so pulled toward Jacob: because Renesmee was a significant (due to the similarities between her and her mother as a human) part of Bella.

By imprinting on Renesmee, he has found what he needed to overcome his pain and sadness. While Renesmee is a child, he only feels the need to protect her and keep her happy as nothing else is more important. Because of this, he deserts his initial plan to live his life as a wolf and dedicates himself to protecting her. As she grows up, Jacob will feel attracted towards her as part of the imprinting. It is implied that Renesmee will "accept" Jacob as her mate when she is old enough, since she loves him very much, but it is yet unknown whether this will happen. Bella isn't very happy about this at first, and at one point attacks him, an effect of her temper as a newborn vampire. As time passes by, she comes to accept it later on when she realizes that it's not her choice, that they were made for each other.

Jacob thinks of Renesmee as "more special" than all of them put together and that she is "the most wonderful person in the world", and Renesmee is very possessive of him. In addition, he is magnetically drawn to her, as demonstrated many times throughout the story.

Because he finds it hard to be away from her, he visits the Cullens every day to play with her, though he would argue with Rosalie about whose turn it is to feed her. He is the one who nicknames her "Nessie", saying to Bella that her full name is a mouthful. When Renesmee was misunderstood by a vampire named Irina to be an immortal child and reported her to the Volturi, Bella secretly arranges ID certificates, a driving license and passports for Renesmee and Jacob, knowing that he will definitely protect her if the Volturi come looking for them. She also wanted to send them to Rio, hoping Alice would be able to find them. On Christmas Day, Jacob gives Renesmee a hand-braided bracelet which is the Quileute's version of a promise ring as Christmas gift.
After the tension between the Volturi and the Cullens ended, Jacob is more than happy to have Renesmee back into a normal childhood.

via http://twilightsaga.wikia.com/wiki/Jacob_Black

Breaking to the Dawn.

2011-11-27T01:12:00.003+08:00

I was utterly excited for having the chance to watch the most anticipating movie of the year: The Twilight Saga; Breaking Dawn Part 1. 25th November was a memorable date for me and ehem, us.

The Summit Entertainment has done a tremendous job for this phenomenal series in Twilight Saga. The visual I had in mind while I had been reading the book was almost as precise.

Basically, Bella was the most beautiful heroine ever. Kristen Stewart is, to be honest, can actually act. I mean, I kinda agree when people said she can be quite a bit off in her acting. But in Breaking Dawn, I can finally see her facial expression changes according to the scenes. This girl can actually act! So, shut up haters. HAHA!

Yes, I know the highlights in the movie is Bella and Edward getting married and seeing how Edward finally made love with Bella after promising her that after the wedding. But I was rather into something else now. I’ll tell you later. Sadly, the most anticipated scenes in the book where Edward literally broke the bed during, ehem, their first night was cut for general viewing. I was waiting for that moment actually. Sigh. I think it’s quite sexy seeing how Edward broke the bed (I watched it in the trailer) and how he bite the pillow just to strain himself from making Bella hurt in any way possible (in the book). Edward is such a gentleman that I want to cry my heart out seeing how lucky Bella is. Okay, now I’m blushing for no reason.

I just love the way Jacob Black finally has his happy ending with none other, the newlywed’s firstborn child; Renesmee @ Nessie. Again, kudos to Summit Entainment for the effects on how Jacob imprinting on Renesmee. I immediately broke into tears seeing how beautiful they turn words into moving pictures. But of course, the baby and teenage Renesmee was CGI-ed. I was hoping they can cast someone that resembles Bella and Edward. I heard they cast not only one but three person just to get the same resemblance to Renesmee which they edited the three person into one. Sad case here.

I can’t help but smiled all the way through watching this movie. It was all worth it even though we were seated in front of the screen. Yes, like I said, it was worth it though. I’m among the luckiest people to get to watch this movie. Okay, steady Zuleikha. Over-excited me. Teehee.

I’m rooting for Jacob Black and Renesmee Cullen. I wasn’t into Jacob for how I hate him messing with Bella knowing that she had made it clear how her heart belongs to Edward but when you fall in love madly to someone, you just can’t help it, right? I was hoping that Stephenie Meyer can continue writing for Jacob and Renesmee’s for we just can’t get enough of Twilight! Grrr. Please, dear Stephenie. I would like to sign a petition for the continuation of the Twilight Saga.

No worries, we still have Breaking Dawn Part 2. Ah, the adventure will continue then. I want to see more of Jacob and Renesmee now. Here is a quote of Jacob when he finally sets his eyes on baby Renesmee and how he felt after he imprinted on Renesmee;

"Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the half-vampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was – my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self – disconnected from me in that second – snip, snip, snip – and floated up into space. I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was.

The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood. It was the baby girl in the blond vampire’s arms that held me here now. Renesmee." - Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn part II (book), page 380.

I cried, to be honest, while watching BD Part 1. So, sue me.

Save yourself from the heartache.

2011-11-24T22:44:00.002+08:00

I have changed my Blogspot layout. Woot woot. I know it’s not that nice but oh, what the heck, rather than having that depressing black painted background right?

By the way, the Internet is back but then the line is pretty much the same; slowness.

Mama called me this morning just to tell about my so-called surprise birthday present which of course; they’re no longer a secret. I used ‘they’ because my dad bought not only one, but two presents. Again, I was touched and baffled beyond words for I was joking about wanting one of the presents but come to think of it, I could only have said Alhamdulillah, right? Thanks Abah and Mama. Since I’m not going back for the weekends and the entire December (maybe) until the early January, the family is coming this weekend, Insya-Allah.

I preferred listening to songs rather lately. The lyrics are there to suits your mood even when you’re sad, happy, (etc) that a hit of the ‘Play’ button, you’re set to a full listening of 3 to maybe 5 minutes of that particular songs of your choice. So, nothing much interesting to tell you guys there, isn’t it? Guess I’m going back to crying now for the tumultuous times. Bye. Kidding.

“My heart was talking to my head,
Said I've loved once,
I'll never love again.
And now all I do,
Is look around for you,
And every night,
With my eyes closed tight,
I'm lost in dreams,
That I'll awake and see,
You lying next to me.”
-Plain White T’s’ Body Parts

“Someone who really loves you sees what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, how hard you are to handle, but still wants you in their life.”

P/S: I hope you still want me.

Fragile Heart.

2011-11-21T22:49:00.004+08:00

This is depressing for finals are just around the corner. So many assignments to pass up, so many subjects to catch up, so many revision needs to be done. But here I am still living in my own world where unicorns are running wild and rainbow that shone colourful rays just above the clouds. Okay, that’s so not true. Be it if I go back home during the weekends or not, it still feels the same where the time seems insufficient enough to make ends meet. Entahlah.

It’s been three days without Internet connection and I had to borrow my housemate broadband just to do my online assignment which is none other than Computer Programming. Not to mention stalking everyone on Facebook and not to forget, Twitting via seesmic. I was only joking about the stalking stuff. Don’t take me seriously, well, sometimes.

I went for the boyfriend match on Saturday. I was about to take some pictures but the guys there were, uhm, shirtless so I decided not to. I even blushed looking at how they all simply stripped their jersey off. None of them can be compared to Taylor Lautner’s six packs. Sigh. Well, unlike some. *teehee. I can’t take my eyes off him throughout the match. He was so focused on that game despite having to being tackled instead of tackling the enemy. That’s cute, I mean the part he was being focused. Not because of how he simply rolling on the grass after being dodged by that Flash guy. I can only watch with despair knowing how frustrated he was and so were his team members. I wished that I could help, but Rugby is zero in my vocabulary that I just sit there and stare at the match being played. I can’t thank you enough to Ema, Fatin, Chepas and Helmy for being there and everything. You guys rock! Thank you so much for the driving, gossiping and everything lah. (Y) And for the boyfriend, there’s always next time, okay. No giving up. Please do take care of those ribs of yours.

And I have this countless battle with my emotions that I felt like crying even at some simple matters. Why are you being such a cry baby, Zuleikha? Suck it up and be strong will you? Ugh, hormones. Not like anybody cares now do you? #sadface

By the way, I feel this squishy mushy all over love songs (some are pretty depressing in a way that they’re sad songs) here;

With You by Chris Brown
Valentine by Kina Grannis
Fast Car by Tracy Chapman (Boyce Avenue and Kina Grannis’ cover)
Heavy in Your Arms by Florence and the Machines (Eclipse OST)
I’m Into You (feat. Lil Wayne) by J. Lo
Set Fire to the Rain
Juat A Kiss by Lady Antebellum

So won't you be my honeybee
Giving sweet kisses all the time
Be mine, be my valentine
Be my valentine
-Kina Grannis' Valentine

Bloodshot eyes.

2011-11-17T00:39:00.005+08:00

I hate this. It’s already 10.45pm (it was back then) and here I am struggling for my OSHA assignment that need to be pass up tomorrow by 11am. I’m so pissed off and my head is bearing this huge burden and I can’t just let my mood get the best of me now, can’t I? I have two quizzes tomorrow; ODE and Basic Physics. I’m so dead meat, I tell you. How I wish I am as smart as every smart people is. Not to mention, Podcast for TITAS assignment and Statics. Can the lists go on already?

I wish the line here would be much faster for I miss using Seesmic. The thing with Seesmic is that it requires fast connection to the internet. Now I can’t tweet via Seesmic because apparently Seesmic need to re-authenticate my profile on Twitter. What the? I can’t use Facebook to twittering instead. I don’t want people to start calling me the girl who confused between Twitter and Facebook now. Besides, I can’t upload pictures in Blogspot because a) the line is too effing slow and b) the size of the pictures are too big to be compress in short amount of time. Well, maybe. I’m not some computer genius here.

Rugby match will be held this weekend. And I want to be there to support him in every way I can but I have tons of assignments. Maybe I’ll stay up this Friday and spend some time on Saturday morning before I go to Kolej Matrikulasi Pahang for the inter-fac match. I wonder how it looked like in KMP which I think it would be different than the one I’ve attended before; KMNS. Like, duh. Pffft. I’m not so sure about the transportation but I was hoping that they are going to provide one or I might book a rented car, perhaps. Guess I’m doing this alone. I mean the driving. By the way, good luck, baby. <3

I have this sudden craving for food lately. Guess I’m having my PMS in about two weeks time or maybe less for it’s already 17th. Man, another 4 days to drop any subject. Just saying. And it’ll be December already. I’m not ready to be old just yet. Sob.

My eyes are weary already. Not to mention (which I think I did mention above) about the line. I’m tired and sleepy and I just want to crawl onto my bed, snuggles under the comforter and hugged my square pillow (that Abah bought for me which I was too egoistic to used it before and left it inside the cupboard thinking that I looked like a baby holding on to something despite the fact that I’m already old enough to have plushies or teddy bear sleeping beside me). Why am I crapping here already? In conclusion; I need S-L-E-E-P.

" Baby, we can go out on a first date,
but you come and pick me up half an hour late.
Now I'm not gonna lie, that you almost made me cry,
but I'm a masculin guy, I'll be okay, yeah.
Your place, toy story 3
the greatest all time kids movie,
But I forgot,
Andy leaves Woody,
and now the tears are coming right back over me"
- Nigahiga, Chestersee & Kevjumba's Shed A Tear

Can I be KevJumba's girl already? He's so cute. Mata sepet.
P/S: Kidding, already.

Set Rain to the Fire.

2011-11-16T01:58:00.002+08:00

I’m having tons of assignments to be pass up by next week. Yeah right, tons. Pffft.

The highlight of the day was about credit hour. I heard rumours that some of my coursemates are dropping Computer Programming whatsoever. But I was much more peculiar about my credit hour. I’m bearing one by the name 19. I was a bit uptight there whenever people asked me about my credit hour and when I’d finally answered them, they gave me this disbelieving looks and first word that came out was, “Whoa!” Yes, I know, it looks like a huge burden I’m putting on my shoulder. But after much discussion with my coursemates and earlier on with my senior in UMP Gambang that I realized that it was bearable for the reason my credit hour achieved to the max is because of my Basic Physics. Pffft. Okay, rest assured there. But I still need to strive for my ‘killer’ subjects like ODE, Statics, Engineering Materials and Computer Programming. Dayyym. I’m so dead here. It’s okay, Zuzu. You can do this. Ugh, what a nice nickname, Farhanah.

Okay, I’ve noticed that my previous posts where I posted some ‘jiwang’-ness lyrics that some of you might throw up after reading them. I’m sorry, I just enjoyed the beautiful lyrics there.

Adele is so epic. I love her. Her soulful voice makes me wants to cry every time I listen to her songs. Even Mama adored her. I mean, who doesn’t? I wish she could come here and perform here in Malaysia. I’m sure it will be a full house by the time they selling out the tickets. I even checked her blog on her official website that is; www.adele.tv where she keeps her fans updated about her whereabouts and well-being. I truly respect her for having the time to actually make time for her fans by updating her blog. And my, oh my, the tremendous amount of replies by her fans shows how much they love her and care for her. Awww. She had to cancel her tour for she had a throat surgery if I’m not mistaken. Hope she’s doing well. I heart you, Adele. <3

It’s raining season here in Malaysia. Eceh, feeling like a weather broadcaster already. I’ve noticed that I get hungry really easily. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because of the weather. I mean when you’re cold, your body tends to used all the fats in your body in order to keep yourself warm. Hibernate it is. Except that we can’t sleep all day long now, can we? But then when the fats are depleting then you started to hunt for food. Yes, I'm a food hunter. Sigh. It’s so cold out there even when it’s not raining. I had to bring my umbrella around for the rain usually comes without prior notice and sometimes we would end up wet from head to toe. Talk about getting fever later on.

Having to drink hot Ovaltine with marsmallows is what I had in mind. Snuggling to the comfort of my comforter with my socks and soft pillow. Writing these down makes me want to stuff my laptop in the drawer and jump up onto bed already. Haha.

Na-night, you.

"But I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touched your face
Well, it burned while I cried
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
When we fell, something died
'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time"

-Adele's Set Fire to the Rain.

P/S; One of my favourite tracks in her album.

Lightweight.

2011-11-15T01:05:00.008+08:00

First thing that I noticed after a week holiday-ing for Raya Haji was that almost every guy in UMP got themselves a new haircut. Give them a round of applause, shall we? Handsome la korang. Teehee.

Came across Farhanah’s blog and it’s her anniversary with #handsomemanatthewindow. Awww, Happy 5th Anniversary, guys.

Okay, now I feel like there’s nothing much to say here. -.-

I’m thinking of changing my relationship status there on Facebook but thinking that people will spam that particular post makes me re-think about it first. I have to lay low thinking that Tok man would probably be checking my Facebook once in awhile for he kept mentioning about Facebook the last time I went for Raya Haji last Sunday. My parents aren’t really into Facebook, you see. They even warned me about the consequences of Facebook-ing. Yada, yada, yada.

I ordered two flavours for macarons from Farhanah; Chocolate and White Rose. My siblings enjoyed them since Farhanah used to gave me some macarons before this and so, I was like, hmm, let’s ordered some. Besides, I was thinking about giving some of them as a gift for ehem, him. Black ribbon is so chick and sexy that I asked Farhanah to custom-made the gift. I was so happy when I came by her house to pick up the macarons. I was literally beaming. Not to mention, Farhanah’s got herself a new kitty that her neighbor had given her. So cute, Darkie is. That’s her name.

"Light on my heart, light on my feet
Light in your eyes I can't even speak
Do you even know how you make me weak

Oh, I'm a lightweight
Better be careful what you say
With every word I'm blown away
You're in control of my heart"

Demi Lovato's Lightweight. <3

High Maintenance

2011-11-13T01:54:00.008+08:00

Adam performed for the annual Graduation Day for his nursery. His part was Zikir Barat where instead of ‘mencarut’ about something in a traditional way, they used zikir as the replacement.I noticed when they performed the ‘ritual’, I had this sudden remembering when adam used to recite the zikir whenever at home while I was at home, that is. Every time Mama asked him about which performance he’ll be doing, he simply shrugged, and said, “Entah.” Like what the. Little that we know, he have his way of surprising us. Talk about being smart eh. Here are some pictures of Adam during his performance. I am so lazy to upload every single performing arts by these cute kids so I’ll just put Adam’s instead.

I talked to Abah a few days ago while watching Pearl Harbor that I’d always wanted a dog tag (please, not that dog tag where dogs wear them around, hell no) like the soldiers used to wear. Then he asked for my blood type and I thought, maybe he’s asking to make sure (hopefully). I can’t reveal my blood type now, can I? I think it’s private or something but from the way I see it and after some consultation hour with my Biology teacher back in matriculation and my mom, a little fact about my blood type is that I need to find someone with blood type which would be very compatible to mine considering that it will affect the baby that I would bear for nine (maybe less or more) months in my womb in the future, insya-Allah. It scares me a little bit there when they made a fuss about it. Mama made this inside joke about when a guy proposes to me, the first thing she would ask is; which type of blood are you? HAHA. Funny Ma, funny that my face shows this: o_0

A thing with relationship is that you always wanted what’s best for your partner. No matter how imperfect he/she is, you should always bear in mind that this person is special to you (I mean why would you be with that person in the first place, no?). No matter how many times she went uptight about small things, whenever she’s around you be it via texts or calls, mind you that at least, she took some effort to get your attention or maybe she just plain need his man to be by her side. Or you prefer her running around flirting with some other guy and come to you whenever you THINK you need her. Now, you don’t want that to happen, don’t you? Be true to her. Tell her that you need her. Never neglect her. She might think the worst when you no longer ask of her. If you feel that she’s too needy, plan a meet up and slow talk to her. Discuss whatever you think that needs to be straightening up between you guys. Honesty is the best policy. Please don't lie to her.

Let say, you prefer hanging out with homies, I mean, come on. Homies are homies, girlfriend is girlfriend (unless you have more than one). If you think you can’t balance between these two, tough luck big guy. You have to balance these two or if you prefer your homies over the girl, just leave her already. I’m sure some other guy would gladly offer his hand for her. Okay, what a horrible thing to say. Forget it.

One question, ask yourself; have you ever been there for her? Or you just like, “Well, she can take care of herself. I got other things to do besides worrying about her weight, e.g.”?

"Don't you realize how every girl's blog or profile is about that one guy and yet he never knows that every word is about him. Mine too." via (girlsproverbs)

"I can't sleep, I keep you up all night

I know sometimes I get a bit uptight

So what if I break a few glasses

Kick a few asses

You know I'm worth it"

-Miranda Cosgrove's High Maintenance

Stop Bullying.

2011-11-12T11:46:00.003+08:00

I’ve never been bullied in school before. I guess the gossiping were common among us students here. Little that I know in some other places, bullying is severe where the bullied sometimes end up committing suicide because they can’t handle the pressure. I think it’s more on the way how you handle the situation. I mean peer pressure is tough because you always want to look best in front of your peers or just be normal among everyone. I’m crappy here, yes, I know.

I watched this movie on HBO where this girl is just some normal kid going through school life but she happens to be bullied by her classmates. Wow, at such young age the bully can be such a bitch already. Good job at being a bully in a movie. I don’t know whether I’m being sarcastic or what. I seriously think that it's not the children faults for being a bully. It's more on how they were being brought up by their parents. I see in the movies where the family (most of them) are very positive but in reality, that's considered bullshits as what I've been reading in some article. Talk about procrastination.

It's Adam's Graduation Day. Better get going. I'll update some time later. Sorry for the short update. #Teehee.

I’m falling over Katy Perry’s latest single; The One That Got Away.

Flay you alive.

2011-11-01T19:26:00.004+08:00

Ahh, remember what I’ve told you in the previous posts where I think I’d flunked my tests? Truth to be told, it did happened. My Basic Physics test was okay but for Statics and Engineering Materials, I would’ve worn a brown paper bag over my head already. The scores were effing humiliating. I just cried silently there for a while. Great, now everybody knows how stupid I am in class.

I’m having trouble eating again. Not that I’m going through eating disorder (I think) but every time I feel like eating and just when I was about to buy the food, the feeling just died away. Funny isn’t it? We’re having a bazaar every Tuesday starting between 4pm until 8pm. I was rooting for Nasi Kerabu but then they were so little options of side dishes for there was only fried fish. Seriously? Where’s the beef and that stuffed chilli with fish. Sigh. I thought of nothing better but to buy that Nasi Goreng Kampung which I regret again for last week I bought Laksa Pahang where the same thing happened. Such a spoiler for my appetite! Grrr. Back in Shah Alam, it was way better than this. Sob. I miss home.

I think I’m fat once more. Sob. Random thoughts, there.

I came across Owl City’s blog on MySpace sometime earlier on but I was too forgetful to keep up with his blog since. Then, I googled his official blog website (is this sentence correct?); www.owlcityblog.com where I see he even mentioned about this song that I’m falling head over heels with; All About Us by He Is We where they collaborated together. Sigh.

"The song is absolutely beautiful. It’s soothing and quiet, romantic and molasses-sweet, but brave and confident, even shy and vulnerable — all at the same time. "
- Adam Young

P/S: The thing is, those three words are good enough to make me smile.
I love you, too.

Para, para, paradise.

2011-10-29T23:51:00.002+08:00

Here I am back in UMP Pekan. I don’t feel that much sad or anything because I’m coming back home next week on Friday.

Phew, done with Computer Programming Test 1. Which I might flunk the paper easily for the first question was carrying 20 marks and I was obviously couldn’t have answered it. I’m sure Dr. Ariffin would be smiling while marking my answer sheet while enjoying the chocolate cake that Mama asked me to give him.

So, we the girls decided to have brunch in Pekan at A&W. Kudos to Zubaidah for her very own idea and the ride to the very place. We took a few photos here and then. We went to this bazaar or something and my oh my, the weather was so effing hot that our brains are practically cooked under the scorching sun. Back at our dorm, I went straight to bed with only a singlet and shorts. This is because I just couldn’t stand the heat. At precisely 4pm, Mun came over and asked about our next plan on going to the beach. So, I immediately cleaned up and wear my black t-shirt and so, we walked over to the ‘barn’ where they store the bicycles.

Luck wasn’t on our side for the service is not available over the holiday. So, we (Myself, Mun, Fatin, And Zubaidah) hoped on Zubaidah’s car. FYI, she’s using it temporarily until this oncoming Raya Haji holiday. At the beach, again we took photos and I carved my name and some other name on the sand. But then, after I posted it on Facebook that it went ballistic where people starts commenting on that particular picture and it gets way out of hand when some guy mentioned that I looked like someone’s ex-girlfriend. I just can’t say much here. But, yeah I am mad over that statement earlier.

It’s Saturday, people. Since Zubaidah was going to pick up her housemate in Kuantan, we decide to go there too but instead of cramming another 5 people on the backseat, me and Zubaidah booked a Naza auto car which I don’t know what’s the name of it but it sure looks like Viva cross between Myvi or something. Damn the car picked up real slow and yeah, I have to stand people’s commenting about it. Nama pun kereta sewa wei. -.-

Arriving there, we went straight to the cinema where we got the tickets to real Steel movie. Mun told us that rumours has it where the guys whoever watched the movie cried over it. It’s kind of funny but the real situation did happen though where Mun heard a couple of guys that were seated behind her was sobbing. I was too busy sobbing myself and tried very hard to control that the single muffled of my voice gives me away where Fatin whom was seated beside me saw me cried.

Since the Naza car was available until 4pm only and it was already 2pm, we rushed off where some of us (not me) went to perform Zohor at Surau nearby while some of us went off to do some shopping. Hence, I bought myself an Ipanema flip flop, two long sleeve plain t-shirts and a green hoodie at Padini Authentics. Yes, I know, I splurged too much there. There goes my Maybank account. No such thing as Blackberry in the future. Sob.

I saw this leather jacket where it came with two colours; grey and brown. I looked over at the mannequin reading the price tag of the leather jacket. It cost RM60 something and my eyes went goggled thinking how cheap it was for a leather jacket but then I went over near the display section and just then, I nearly slapped myself where the actual price was RM200++. I’m so noob. Oh, well.

I want that Monster Beats by Dr Dre! – My random wish list.

Well, hello there.

2011-10-25T01:04:00.002+08:00

I'm too lazy to post anything at the moment. Teehee.

Ir. Siti Zuleikha binti Zahrin

2011-10-20T23:45:00.001+08:00

Just finished with Statics Test 1 just now, Engineering Materials’ last Monday, Mechanical Laboratory 2’ on the day after. Fuhh, it was a hell of a ride for this week having to be done with the war of the IQ tests. Well, which probably I might fail them all successfully and just maybe, I could kiss my future Ir. title goodbye.

Hello to this oncoming weekend. I’ve been waiting for you. Though, people who worked hard ever since they came here to UMP deserve the weekend more than I do. I see that my marks for quizzes were never really that high except for a few lucky ones where I got a full mark for Ordinary Differential Equation quiz. But it was nothing, really.

Oh well, I still need to ace a few more tests for TITAS and Ordinary differential Equations. Not to mention, Computer Programming which I’ll be sitting next Friday on the 28th. There goes my holiday being cut short from nine days to only six days. Not to worry, I still have Raya Haji Holiday. Hoyeahh.

Yet I am ever so excited to bring Mama for a spa treatment at Jari Spa in Solaris Dutamas situated just a few shops away from Nathalie’s Gourmet Studio. Haaa, maybe I’ll indulge her with some of Nathalie’s macarons later on. I guess she deserves my attention after going through an accident a few days ago. Luckily she wasn’t injured but she said her body starts to sore a bit here and there. The least I can do is to pamper her a bit. Sob.

I need to buy new pants or I think a belt will do here. Just that as for today, I have practical class for Mech Lab 2 and I was wearing that same old boring Dorothy Perkins jeans (Note to self; please buy new pair of jeans will ya? The old ones are so lame.), and I saw my reflections of my legs near FKM earlier today. My legs look like those effing ice cream sticks. Plus, the waistline of my jeans is no longer fitting and I looked like I’m wearing a sack over it. Guess I can wear skinnies now, which my mom would’ve killed me.

Finding the right jeans are never easy for us women. Sigh. We, women came with different sizes; pear-shape, apple shape, hour-glass shape and so on. As for me, I’m not really sure in which category I’m in. -.-

Agh! I can’t imagine all the food that I’m missing back at home. As for now, I feel like eating Mama’s cooking. Like every single goddamn food that she cooked. How I miss your cooking, Ma. Sob. I don’t mind being fat again. Seriously.

I’m off to UMP Gambang tomorrow and stayed in a friend’s room for a night because my bus will be off on Saturday at noon from there. I’ll stop at Pekeliling, where God knows where it is. Bahaha. I’m coming home, baby. Hoyeahh.

Boy, you got my heartbeat runnin' away
Beating like a drum and it's coming your way

P/S: I love you. <3

You Have A Cinderella In Me.

2011-10-16T16:52:00.005+08:00

I used to be mad at you. Yes, you. I may yell or throwing tantrums at this very so-called mature age but all I want was your attention and your love. Why is it so hard for you and me to come to a mutual understanding at that point?

P/S: I love you, Abah.

Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman

She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders

It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
She's pulling at me
Saying "Dad, I need you

There's a ball at the castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

(Chorus);
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone...

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

(Chorus)

She will be gone
Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned
She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away
But I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

(Chorus)

More information about this song makes me all teary:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinderella_(Steven_Curtis_Chapman_song)

Dear Mr. Chapman, I'm so sorry for your terrible lost. :'(

True colours.

2011-10-16T02:47:00.011+08:00

So here I am sitting on my chair staring at my laptop while my mind wanders around to my hometown. Sob. How I wish I am at home right now. Ugh, I’m missing every fun for today. Happy belated birthday, Sorfina. Love you babe. Yes, I cried in this very room of mine; I3-503. I know, who cares, right? I don’t know why I get to so tearful lately. Hormones. Sigh.

Sorfina texted me that evening to inform me on our road trip for this holiday. Insya-Allah, we will be heading to Port Dickson. But the thing is, I need to talk about this thoroughly with my parents since they can be quite protective saying how accident may happen at anytime, anywhere, anyhoo. I know, at least they are being a parents. So, I texted Mama and explained quite a lengthy message and here’s how the conversations go;

Me: Ma, uhm, Sorfina nak ajak kaklong pergi PD boleh? With Farhana semua. If tido sana pun, kitaorg might go to Sopi’s rent house in Melaka. But this thing is still under discussion. For now, we’re going to ask for approval from each parents. (It was already 1am and so I thought Mama won’t be replying my text until…)

Mama: When?

Me: Cuti Deepavali. Tapi amik time weekdays. Maybe a day or two. (I’m giving this false excuse by saying;) Sopi nak amik barang kat rumah sewa dia.

(I was baffled beyond words when she quickly texted back.)

Mama: No.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? I. Am. Deeply. Wounded. Here. Yes, wounded, I tell you. This is even worse than a bad breakup ever. Sob. I can’t help myself until I cried a bit there. Yet I’m not going to give up. I have another week to assure her to give me the permission to go. Ya Allah. please have mercy, I have never ever been on a road trip like this one that we’re planning to do.

Sigh. All of the sudden I feel like going to The Wheels in Subang Avenue. I can’t wait to try the new cinema in Subang Parade. So cool knowing that Subang Parade is keeping up with the modern time now. Speaking of which, how I want to check on Empire after knowing that the ground floor has been blown up because of the gas explosion. There goes The Whisk where they sell Red Velvet with Cream Cheese frosting cake and The Polka’s range of ice creams like Horlicks, Salted Gula Melaka and many more, The Loaf where they sell their signature baked goods; Cranberry Cheese. Guess I’ll have to go to Langkawi's The Loaf then. Well, same goes to Serai though I’ve never eaten there before but they said the desserts there are quite nice especially their pavlova.

I probably should share this information though I think everybody knows about it already. The time for solat here is rather much early than the one in Selangor. Here’s my note that I stick on my board.

Sorry for the horrible handwriting.

The weekends here are quite enjoyable if you know how to keep it that way. Unlike in matriculation, here we have bicycles and kayak. We only have to pay RM1 for renting the bicycles and that rowing thing for kayak. I’ve been to Pantai Lagenda here with my friends. You know who you are. :)

The thing with Bruno Mars is that he never fails to make me head over heels over his songs especially the latest ones; It Will Rain. The single is to be featured in The Twilight Saga's Breaking Dawn: Part 1. I'm so giddy that I can't wait for the movie premiere.

P/S: I repeat this song over and over again via my iPod Nano. This song is irresistable. Sigh. <3

It's 4am already. and I should be going off to bed now. Until then. XOXOXO

Don't stop, don't change. Stay beautiful. - The Last Goodnight

I'm here for you, always.

2011-10-14T12:13:00.006+08:00

I’m supposed to be going home for the weekends but we’re having one week holiday starting another week of next week for Deepavali and another for Raya Haji so, guess I’ll sacrifice for a few days of my weekends here.

I don’t know. I feel like crying thinking how much fun we’ll be having if I’m home by this weekend. Yes, this very weekend. I can’t reveal much here but you can ask me personally if you want too. You know how hard it is for us to gather around together and spend the weekends just us girlfriends. Sob. I misses my best friends and of course, my family, too.

Ugh, I’m so helpless that I could only cry.

I went to Pusat Kesihatan Pelajar later after lunch with Mun later on. I finally had the strength to eat here in UMP. Now I’m eating twice a day now. Although my wallet is screaming for money but so far, Alhamdulillah, I managed to spent below ten rinngit per day. So, I checked my BMI where I have to weigh my body weight and measure my height. Since I’m standing at a height of 161cm and well, uhm, my body weight is now at 49.5kg. Please don’t get me wrong here. I’m not trying to brag about my so-thin-like-a-model-which-seems-unlikely weight here. It’s just that the last time I went for medical checkup, I was about 51kg. Now my BMI is 19. The normal BMI is ranging between 20 and 25. Oh well.

Ah, having those blank pages in my head. Ugh.

I’m having my Test 1 for Engineering Materials on next week on Monday, Statics on Thursday of the very same week and insya-Allah, Computer Programming on Friday at 2 to 4 pm. While some of my coursemates are having their Fluid Mechanics too on the very same time and day with Computer Programming. I don’t know. I hope maybe Prof. Sharma can extend the test on some other time for we can’t afford to come back on Tuesday the 25th just to take Computer Programming and messing with our holiday spirit right?

Ah, I need to shop. I miss Topshop and everything nice. Pffft.

I miss horse riding. I used to ride in Seri Kembangan back when I was in Form 2. I started riding when I was eleven at MAFEC, TUDM Sungai Besi. I remembered these two white ponies by the name Julie and Joseph if I’m not mistaken. I remembered Julie more for I used to ride her and my first pony was Sultan. Yes, Sultan’s the very name of that small yet spoil brat and naughty bay pony. I remembered this very incident where my instructor, Amanda, (the best instructor I had in the world that came all the way from Italy and she is a very petite indeed) was playfully bitten by Sultan near her thighs while she was adjusting my reins or stirrup and she simply smack Sultan on the face. Yes, literally. I was a bit shocked knowing that in no other circumstances you are to punish any horse and pony that way. But it was forgivable since Sultan was being extremely naughty. HAHA. He simply stands still like the horse guards at the Parlimen’s palace and remain calm throughout the entire class.

Aww, how I misses everyone there at MAFEC. I remembered Jack the pony that has a star marking on his forehead and he is an angel, I tell you. He has the most calm temperament and he would never even hurt a fly. Plus, I learned to canter on him. Ah, his gait was as smooth as Tun Mahathir's where he would never ever make you feel uncomfortable and he is just so sweet like an apple pie. Except for that time when this boy was about to bring him to the stable, Jack simply gallop away on his own to his stall. Smart, that little pony. I tell you, Tun Mahathir's horses are the first class and well, basically in their own league. I used to ride in Bukit Kiara and my uncle was his bodyguard everytime Tun wants to go for riding and that day I was ever so lucky that I get to ride a pony by the name Josephine, a cream Arab pony. She was so cute and gosh, her temperament was so ever calm that I canter 4 laps in the Polo paddock in Bukit Kiara plus without having to control the rein. She just maintain her pace like any machine. Julie and Joseph; the twin ponies and they are the most beautiful ponies I’ve ever seen. They are totally white with their forelocks and manes with the colour of white sandy beach. Sigh. I used to asked Abah for a pony just like them. A little girl’s dream. Abah even put my framed pictures of me with Julie in his office and many more. Yet, I know Abah can’t afford me one but for me to go there at MAFEC every Saturday was good enough for me. Alhamdulillah, Abah was willing to pay for my lessons there. Thank you, Abah. I used to make friends with the horses and the workers there. Sometimes after finishing my lesson for the day, which was one hour per day early in the morning, I would offer myself to shower the pony or horses I rode. They say it would make the bonding between the rider and the horse grown. I remembered Abah used to ride a freaking tall mare by the name Zara. I think she was an 18hh. The tallest yet ever to be in Malaysia. She was one of the oldest there at the stable among the rest; she was 22 years old. The lifespan for a horse is 25 years old, give and take if medication are issued on the bill. Well, I get to ride her once and Abah was jealous because I rode his beloved horse there. HAHA. Thanks to her, I learned how to be extremely patience when you're riding an old grandma-like horse. Yeah, she was like a slowpoke but with a twist where she is the kindest among all. Seriously, Zara was like a mother among the horses. She never neighs nor kicked the stall of her stable for food. Just like Jack, she would never even hurt a fly.

I remembered one of Abah’s friends was working there as a part-time instructor and he were in charge for my lesson and I was to ride a 5 year old gelding (male horse) with the height of almost 16hh where his shoulder is higher than my height, I tell you. I was scared at first noticing his height which was very gigantic at that time and how small I was. But uncle Shukri was ever so kind that he gave me the encouragement and so I hoped on the horse (I can’t remembered his name, I think it was Red or T-Rex). I was in the moment but then something went wrong for this aircraft in TUDM was landing near the stable and Red was scared to death that he immediately stop and reared his front legs upwards. I was a bit blur at that time but Alhamdulillah, my soul has not flown away that I immediately moved my body forward a bit to maintain my center of gravity. Uncle Shukri was clapping his hands saying how brave I was and for not falling. Of course la dia cakap like that because tak nak kena tanggungjawab dengan pihak atasan if I jatuh. Muka pun dah cuak la uncle. Tak perlu cover sangat lah. I know how the admin worked there at MAFEC. But it was the experience that makes me a better rider. I may not be competing among the international riders but I just love the experiences back then when I was younger. To uncle Shukri, I wasn’t mad at you. I’m kidding alright. How I wish we can meet again. Maybe your children can join me riding too.

How I wish my future kids are able to experience what I had back then. Insya-Allah, I’ll work hard to support them in any other way possible.

Please Don't Go - Mike Posner

Rich Life.

2011-10-10T18:50:00.008+08:00

My Computer Programming lecturer is Dr. Ariffin. I like the way he teaches us for this subject although sometimes his rules can be quite in comprehend for us but we are too grown up to follow. I still have his 9 basic (basic la sangat) rules somewhere in my notebook. Ah, here it is.

1. Show up ten minutes early than time. Eg: if your CP class starts at 4pm, then at 3.50pm your ass should be in his class already.

2. Cell phones are strictly prohibited. Thanks to Dhillip, we owe Dr. Ariffin a quiz.

3. Eating and drinking are not allowed but still you can bring colourless liquid to class, eg: mineral water ONLY.

4. Assignments and quizzes are to be sent on time. (Like hell yeah!)

5. No talking in class. He didn’t say we can’t move around or walking about in class right? Teehee.

6. No yawning. Ah, this one is so crucial for every time a person (yes, even Dr. Ariffin) yawn, a quiz is given out at that very instant. Ugh, we had 5 quizzes on the list already. Aiyo.

7. Bring extra A4 paper AMAP (as many as possible). Which I failed to bring to class. What to do if you’re an old grandma like me. HAHA.

8. Handwriting must be read-able. Funny how Edward Cullen have far more sculptured handwriting than I do. Sigh.

9. Sit at front.

Last Thursday, Dr Ariffin wore Tommy Hilfiger’s purple shirt that I almost collapse in front of him. I’m just exaggerating here. I remembered going to One Utama to shop for my wardrobe. I went to the Lower Ground floor where Ralph Lauren, FCUK, Delicious Café are situated with Zara and many other stores (which I can’t afford to buy even if I rob a bank). Ah, the reason why I almost collapsed was that I remembered the day I went to Tommy Hilfiger’s and I was in that instant fell in love with this red checkered red shirt that I instantly pull the shirt and I was about to put it on the counter before I realized it cost as much as RM400. Yes, freaking RM400. I almost cried for I was head over heels for that shirt already. But then I kept a straight face and walked out of the store and was terribly saddened by the thought of the pricey shirt. I could’ve buy Topshop’s instead but I just love the very quality of Tommy Hilfiger’s more. Sob. I told Abah about it after I went back home that day and Abah said, “Beli je la. Tommy H. bagus kot in terms of quality.” Abah, were you not listening? Even that blue stripes shirt I saw in Ralph Lauren makes me want to sit at the very end corner and bawled over crying knowing how freaking expensive the shirt was. It was RM600. -.-

I wish I have millions of money for me to splurge. Seriously, Zuleikha, are you kidding yourself?

Ugh, I can't use Google Chrome whatsover. Every time i tried connecting to it, it gave me blank pages with error as notification saying my proxy is error or something. Spare me for not being a computer genius here. Even my brother, Amir who is a computer freak and spends his life in front of the computer failed to solve this problem. I want to try the latest Blogger updates but in order to do so, I need to use Google Chrome. Grrr. Curses!

Sorry, I don’t have the mood to say much here. This is a very short post, or so I think. Sigh. Until then.

Gain Weight, Please.

2011-10-07T02:01:00.004+08:00

I just love how music can keep up with our tumultuous mood. Yet I’m not too sure about this statement of mine.

I checked my reflection on the mirror and my heart was having a flipside looking at how skinny I am at the moment. Yes, I admit that I used to complain about how fat and what not I was before. You see I just can’t eat here in UMP Pekan. I don’t know. I tried to eat even in a small proportion amount of food such as rice and chicken or fish and veggies and still after a few spoonful of them, I just stop. Or sometimes I felt like throwing up already.

I hate this. Yes, me. I hate myself for thinking that I’m fat before. Now look at me. Even my Dorothy Perkins jeans that I wore today don’t snug fitly but loosely. Ugh felt like I’m wearing a sarong and felt like it will slide down any second now.

Oh well. I had fun today for Mechanical Laboratory 2. Since we have 26 students in our class, so eight groups are formed with 3 people each in a group and a group having an exceptional of 4 members. So I was appointed to be in a group with Mun and Andy. The machine was huge that I almost gawked looking at it. Tutup mulut tu, Zuleikha. -.-‘ We tried to switch on the machine with 3 steps. First was the gas switch, second was the errr, I can’t remember and last one was the air switch (or so I think it was, errr). For three hours straight, I was just so excited playing with the machine thinking how interesting this and that button would do every time I touches them. Seriously I was like a child having her hands on a new toy. HAHA. But then I was still a bit confused about the rotation for the axes. I don’t think I should babble until this blog reaches fifth pages or so.

So, let’s proceed to other things, shall we?

Ah, have I mention that I wore the safety boot that I bought from a senior? Man, that thing was freaking heavy that I nearly cried when I tried to walk them on just a few steps outside of my house. The metal upfront of the shoes was digging my feet but oh well I was having Mech Lab for the day anyway. I was having trouble with the aglets where they always untied themselves whenever I was walking.

Went for Engineering Materials class and as I was ready to take down notes, our quiz results were distributed and we have go to the front when the lecturer called up our names. Before that a foreigner came in with a walking stick and he sat beside me. He surely looks like the founder of KFC (I know, jahat kan?) He was wearing orange stripes shirt and his hair is almost bald with a moustache that reminds you of Professor Slughorn in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. He asked me a few questions or so and so do I to him. He’s a good man from the way I see it.

A few things that I learned about him was his very unusual name; Mr. Wynswinzki. My tongue went twisted all over just by the look at his name. Mama called me just now. I told her about this man. When I told her about his KFC look, she bawled over that I too, laughed with her by just hearing her laugh. Mama ni. -.-‘ And don’t get me started on what she texted me. Bahaha.

Ah, its 2 am already and here I am in front of the laptop without studying tonight. Hoyeahh! I’m so going to score my Test 1.

Here’s an interesting quote via Anna;

when a girl ask a guy to listen to a song, its because the lyrics are all the word she's afraid to say.

Techno to the logy.

2011-10-05T10:24:00.003+08:00

Last night was one the heaviest rainy day I’ve encountered here in UMP. The weather was freezing that it gives me the chills down my spine. I was opting for my Gap sweater but nah, I was lazy to put them on. I went to the room next door and we start gossiping about the weather (what a story).

After waiting for the rain to stop, the internet line had been disrupted. Sigh. I was hoping to post my recent blog entry. Apparently there has been some work undergoing at H block for the internet connection. Even the H residences said blame it on the H block for this. Seriously, I don’t blame anybody for I was perfectly sure things will be okay in about one week or so. Eceh. Trying to be optimistic here.

My classmate even bring her laptop to FKM to check on E-com. Ahh, E-com is where they post daily info about anything such as KOKO, your subject and uhm, even your lost cow? HAHA. Don’t get me wrong but E-com is where you can get your lecture notes, too. UMP is basically an internet-based for any related information and research within one click. Sorry, do bear with my terrible English.

Listening to Glee Cast’s Don’t You Want Me cover by uhm, I don’t remember but the original singers were a pair of siblings if I’m not mistaken, reminds me of my primary school year where Mama was teaching at SKTTDI Shah Alam and it was my first school there since I was in standard 1 until standard 4. On the way from TUDM Subang quarters to my school took us like 10 minutes, well give and take if there is no traffic jam. I used to listen to Light and Easy FM (now also known as Lite FM) well because Mama was the driver and so she’ll make sure I listened to it and for every song aired within that journey to school, she’ll ask for my interpretation of the songs. I would be terribly nervous for that time I just couldn’t give a clue about what the heck the singers used to sing and there was my mom asking for my summary.

She was ever being so kind and she actually explained to me later on when I gave her the I-don't-know-what-to-say look. Pheww. Listening to Alleycats was one of my favourite past times too. Thanks to Mama. She said, “Dengar lagu Mat Saleh pun no point if you can’t appreciate your own culture.” Other bands that I used to listen to were; Flybaits, Sweet September, and that band (where Encik Fauzi sang in his own version and it was an epic failure) and many more. Pffft. Funny how my friends would leave their mouth agape and gave me a disbelieved look every time I sang one of Alleycats songs while doing my revision back in matriculation. I said, “What?” they simply shook and said that they just can’t believe I actually do know a track or two of Malay songs since my iPod is full with English ones and zero Malay song. Bahaha. I tricked you guys that bad, huh?

It’s not that I don’t enjoy Malay ones but I prefer only the old songs in the 80’s and 90’s. I used to watch Ali Setan and I just in that instance fell in love with Ogy Mad Daud’s theme song for that movie. I was only 8 or something that time. Awww, the cutest Malay song ever.

Err, I think I better get going now. My class is going to start at 11am and here I am still wearing my Gap sweater with my shorts. I had to put the sweater on since I had a bad cold this morning. Ah choooo.

I HAVE TO MOVED ON AND BE WHO I AM.

I JUST DON’T BELONG HERE.

I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND.

Vanessa Anne Hudgens

Swoon over Isabella Marie Swan Cullen's hair.

2011-10-03T22:35:00.001+08:00

Ah, looking at my blog’s layout makes me want to scream in horror seeing how black it is the background. Yet, I just couldn’t be bothered to change it into something fancy like some psychedelic coloured background. Yeah, I know. It looks so gloomy while reading my blog knowing that what I have to say here would be, I don’t know, far more colourful and interesting than this ugly and gloomy background. Perlu ke emo tahap ni, Zuleikha? -.-‘

How I wish I can just be grateful for whatever I’m having at the moment.

My assignments are pretty much piled up already until they send out a signal saying pretty much this; URGENT. Since I’m having a conflict of my own, I’ll just pretend and having the URGENT sign slip through under my pillow where I can roll over my head thinking that they’ll settle themselves on their own. Which is nothing as near as fairy tales comes to life.

How I misses my besties back home; Sorfina, Farhanah, and many more so much. Fana, can you please be an angel and bake me Rose flavoured macarons please. I’m craving them ever since I bought one; Rose with Lychee flavoured macaron from Nathalie’s Gourmet café back in Solaris, Seri Hartamas <3. Ah, macarons are so heaven and to die for. Though at Nathalie’s, each cost RM4. Oh well, it was worth the price. Serious. Can somebody please spoil me with this kind of treats? I’ll be your lover forever! Seriously la. Sob.

FYI, I’m having Test 1 for my course here in UMP in two weeks time. Ugh, what a mood killer. Oh well, I guess I just have to work my ass off. Ho yeahhh. Count in the sleepless night, heavy drinking of energy drink or caffeine to help burning the midnight oil (might as well I burn the books already) and eyes that are going to look like some drunker or something. Teehee. Padahal baru test 1. Pffft.

I’ve already had Kings of Leon’s songs in my iPod but that day I was shuffling through their songs and my eyes were fixed on one of their tracks called; Closer. All I can say is that the song is somewhat related to Twilight. In my point of view, I was thinking it would be from Edward Cullen’s where the lyrics mention about the love of his life take his heart and his soul. I’m sorry for being so jiwang here but I just can’t help the fact that this song is so freaking sweet. Kudos to Kings Of Leon for making such relatable song to the epic vampire love story.

Yeah, I’m a sucker for love story. Especially when hot vampires with their muscles are involved and the heroine aka Bella Swan; sigh! I just love Bella Swan’s hair. Swoon I tell you, swoon! I wish I have her hair by now. But my hair would take ages to grow and having curls at the end.

Now my hair has grown to shoulder length. I used to fall my head back so that my hand can reach the end of my hair from behind, imagining that my hair is as long as Princess Aurora's in Sleeping Beauty. ARGH! Having a sister which has a complete set of Disney’s Princesses bed sheets really can turn you into some girly princess fanatic fan. LOL. But I love Belle from Beauty and the Beast more actually. Well, because she love and appreciate books like I do.

Neither is complete without the other.

2011-10-01T18:54:00.003+08:00

Listening to Nick Jonas’s voice when he has not come of age back then was sort of funny in a way that he sounds like a girl. Justin Bieber’s kind. Kidding. Actually it wasn’t the voice that bothered me; it was the song that he sang called Appreciate. It bothered me in a way that he sang of a man died in a car crash. I wasn’t sure where he was heading but I think based on my interpretation that the man was driving home from work. While driving, he was on the phone and caught himself into an accident. The wife soon finds out that she couldn’t contain herself when she went to her daughter that night thinking where to start on telling the unfortunate news. The man wished he had the chance to speak to her daughter for the last time.

I can’t help myself that I literally cried until my eyes are swollen. You might think I’m such a cry baby but if you listen to the lyrics, it could break even a very stubborn heart to pieces.

I have a pet sister here in UMP. UMP is doing a program for anak yatim and those who have low income in salary (sorry, direct translation here). As for us here, we can help out by sharing our room with one of them. My pet sister here named as Nur Hazierah. The first time I saw those walking down the stairs of the bus, I see their familiar faces in a way that they looked like any normal teenagers out there except the fact that some of them has either only a mom or dad. The second batch to arrive was those who have none. My heart goes out to them.

You see, I used to whine or rebel against my parents wishing (well, sometimes) in a way that any spoil brat would do if none of my wish is to be granted. Then I realised what if I have only Mama or Abah? Neither is complete without the other. Again, I cried thinking how on Earth I’m supposed to live without them by my side if they’re no longer here. I see these kids as fighters. At the same time, I was grateful for Allah SWT has given me the chance to see things more clearly now. Sure, nobody’s perfect including your parents and so am I. It’s that imperfection that makes us complete when we stick together. Sorry, it’s just me rambling about things.

Life is too short so take that time and appreciate. - Nick Jonas

A Walking Skeleton.

2011-09-28T21:08:00.004+08:00

I’ve been listening to The Script quite often. Make it every day please. I just love Danny O’Donaghue. If you think Justin Timberlake is scrumptiously yummy to look at, wait until you look at Danny. Nyum nyum. Kidding. Their latest singles are; For The First Time, Nothing, If You Ever Come Back and Science & Faith. Yet I’ve came across two of their other songs in the album; Science & Faith which are Walk Away and Deadman Walking.

I hope Walk Away will be their next single. Maybe they held a contest for suggestion on making the video or something. For the best idea, the winner will win the chance to meet them personally at their recording studio, featured in the video clip or interview them for our local news. Hyperventilating already! OMG! Oh how I wish it happened literally. Sigh. Imagining taking pictures with them and Danny put his hand on my shoulder. Awww. Dream on Zuleikha.

I already am holding on to the idea for Walk Away video clip. Maybe I’ll pm them or make an official letter and send it to Ireland? Hey, if you want something, you gotta do what you gotta do, no?

Adam had caught a viral fever. That’s what Mama told me yesterday. She said he had been in that state for almost three days now and when he went for medical check-up, the doctor had to deluge him down with cold water. He was feverish and shivering because of the fever. To bath him with cold water just don’t make sense anyway. Adam had to take his first blood draw ever (I think). Now he’s a OK. Alhamdulillah. Or maybe he just plain misses his eldest sister here.

Speaking of family, how I misses them. This is not like matriculation all over again. But it is somewhere there except for the distance is much longer and the food is so freaking expensive that I’d only eaten once a day. I bought bread of course for breakfast and hot drinks like Ovaltine and Horlicks which I brought from home. I can’t stand Milo actually for their aftertaste seems to linger around the throat and it’s just not so much of my taste. Mama was worried thinking that I’ll be a walking skeleton by now. I don’t know. I think I’m fat anyway. Doodles.

How I miss Mama’s cooking. Sigh. I used to be picky when it comes to food or what not. Now I realised that I should have been grateful to what Allah has given me by far. I miss Mama’s Spaghetti Carbonara/ Bolognase, Tom Yam, chocolate cake with chocolate sauce, baked macaroni, asam pedas, asam rebus, Masak singgang, Fried meehun, etc. They may sound pretty normal food for you but to me, it meant the whole world.

I realised that being at different place where you are miles away from home make you think that there are other things that doesn’t revolves just around you. It teaches us to be more independent. Yet, be more humble to everyone especially people around you. Not only to your lecturers which some I see came late to class without having the heart to apologize and simply walk in as if they are the important person there.

Ah, let me tell you something. You should consider showing up early to class, meeting, etc. You see, the foreigners especially the mat saleh, they are very, and when I say very, it means time is very crucial to them. No matter what’s your reason for being late, it is considered rude to not show up on time. If you’re late, you have only 5 minutes to show up. After than that, rudeness. Not only that, skipping classes too, considered as to be a mere brat.

She's standing in the heart of darkness
Saying I know you got a soul even though you're heartless

H2O

2011-09-25T10:22:00.003+08:00

Greeting from UMP Pekan, Pahang.

For those who has been wondering for my whereabouts since the last posts here, I would like to say thank you for at least checking my very so called nothing much blog.
So here I am after taking my shower, brush my teeth and combed my hair (do I have to tell all the details?). Anyhoo, here I am writing.

Water is the major issue here in UMP Pekan. Water, water, water. The first thing on the list. It’s has been two days since the water in my hostel has not been running. So, we have to pack our toiletries, towel and new clothes to the faculties nearby; FKM and FKEE to clean ourselves up. I see that the guys have not been joining us in away rebut tempat for I heard that at least one of the building block for guys got water supply.
Studying here is fun. But except for certain days where my timetable are quite packed on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. My credit hour is 19; the maximum credit that we can take here.

Conclusion, I’m so dead. -.-

So far, the subject I’m taking is Basic Physics, Engineering Materials, Statics, Ordinary Differential Equations, Computer Programming, Occupational Safety & Health, Islamic & Ancient Civilisations, Soft Skills, Mechanical Laboratory 2 and Bola Baling. Errr, why bola baling? That’s what the only extra-curricular activity that has only one place left at that time. To make things short, those who have not taken KOKO 1 (Badan Unit Beruniform; PALAPES, PDRM, BRIGED SISWA etc) this semester should take KOKO 2 (Permainan; Archery, Bola Sepak etc). I was planning to take archery but then I dropped the subject for I thought we have to take KOKO 1 then only KOKO 2. Oh well.

Learning Physics has not been one of my favourite things to do. But since that’s the only option I have, there goes nothing.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Bryan White

Acceptance.

2011-09-11T19:02:00.003+08:00

Finally made my way through a week here in UMP Pekan, Pahang. The orientation week was tiresome. High five, now. I'm not sure what to say about being here.

I'm having this mix feeling about studying here. I'll just make it short.

- Apparently, almost Hayat student got Engineering courses.
- Guess I'm learning Physics after all.
- Everyone is so positive here. Especially the alumns.
- I get to see the whole picture about living the Uni life. Sorta.
- I'm more quite here. Tend to speak only the good things.
- Participating in Oriental Club. A club for debaters. (Can't believe I'm doing this whole debate thing.)
- My housemates rocks. Bahaha.
- Tomorrow starting my class. Ho yeahh.
- Have to travel to Kuantan this Wednesday for matikan setem hasil. Which the destination would be 61km away from UMP Pekan to Kuantan. -_________-
- Sad for having to be away from family and friends.

Oh well, that's it for now. Here's some pictures of my room. :)

UGHH. On second thought, I'm having none of it. The internet line was too slow. :(

One Word; Why?

2011-08-10T23:18:00.003+08:00

Okay, I don't know why I can't change the alignment for my blog here.

Here goes nothing.

Since I'm off to Pahang this 4th September, I better let this out of my chest.

I actually want to say that I don't think I can do it there in UMP. I've never been in touch with my foe; Physics for almost two years know. Why in the world I got Mech Engin then? Serious I felt neglected oh. Okay fine, I didn't score my second year in matric that well, only average my GPA. But unrelated though for I was a Hayat student.

I know we should never (or try to) looked back on the past and try to be positive to move forward. But I just can't help it.

Things I regret (for thinking about it/them too much):

1: First year in matric, banyak main.
2: Family issues
3: My confidence level
4: Etc.,

Entahla. I once trust a person but that person act numb now. Thanks la dulu janji nak tolong, now sanggup biar I terkapai-kapai.

I guess I have to face this alone. All by myself.

My vow for the future of my (future) kids (Insya-Allah):
#whenmykidsfinishesspm I'm going to force them on taking Dip or A level in IPTS. Matriculation tu mmg aku bangkang 100%. Unless if my kids are smarter than me.

Just don't give a fark.

2011-08-08T09:34:00.004+08:00

I hate to start with the "it has been awhile since i updated my blogspot." yada yada yada.

I received my acceptance into Universiti Malaysia Pahang for Mechanical Engineering with Industry. I was baffled beyond words. As a normal human being, I cried the whole day until my eyes starts to look like panda's. I've noticed that almost every Hayat students got the course that wasn't among the top 8 choices that they've chosen. And same goes to Physics's. Me too, is in their shoes. People had warned me that matriculation is such a battlefield where you fight for your own arse to be in the university of choice. Then, shit happens if you're not lucky as I am.

Serious nak emo oh sekarang.

Even 4 flat students have received some unrelated courses like banking (for Hayat students). Gamble gila oh ambik matrik ni. :(

FYI, benda ni kecoh masuk Forum. So, i heard. Parents was unsatisfied and duh, us too.

Untunglah siapa masuk private. But I have to deal with it la kan. We just don't know what the future has in store for us. Besides, I'm not going to ask for my parents to support me into paying for private instituion fees. This is all my fault for not scoring really well in the second year of matrik. Bodoh.

The more I'm trying to get away from Science relatable courses esp Physics, the more I get to be with them. What a luck, chicka.

Come to think of it, it would be an adventure for me to be living in some other place besides my home. I've been living in Negeri Sembilan before, now Pahang (thank god not Sarawak, errk). Haha.

Besides, this is my future, right? I'm the one who's going to shape up my destiny. Eceh.

Anyway, my friends and I will be opening a booth for The KL Bazaar at SohoKL @ Solaris Mont Kiara, KL. Our booth will be the lucky number 29 and near the Cold Storage. :)

Me and Farhana will be selling our pre-loved items,pashminas and few shawls, shoes, accessories and maybe Farhana's trademark; macarons. Will confirm about the macarons later. Whilst, Fauliyana and her friends will be selling inspired branded deodarants and shawls.

It will be on the 20th of August on Saturday, starting at noon until 9pm. Hope to see you guys there. Err. If anyone reading this. *nature sound. -_-

Have a nice day, guys.

The Wheels.

2011-07-03T22:47:00.005+08:00

What a day to start by rolling on the floor with roller skates. Teehee.

Went to The Wheels, Subang Avenue with Hilal and we waited for Ashli and Naomi to show up. I was pretty amazed with my skill today for I used to skates using the four wheels but after a while, the guy at the skates counter adviced me on using the skates with one set of blade like the ice skating skates. The four wheels are hard to control rather than the two blades one.

I was a bit nervous but eventually after having a free lesson with Hilal, I finally succeded on using the skates, for now. In order to achieved that, I fell THREE TIMES ON MY BUTT. Painful gila wei. Tolong ah boleh beranak. :

I was a tad jealous of Hilal and Ashli for they know how to skates. Me and Naomi just sit there and watched them chasing after each other like Tom and Jerry.

So, we headed of to Empire Shopping Gallery. Again, I scratched my car for the second time there. Sigh.

I want to shop at La Senza for they're having clearance sale at about 50% while for the membership holder, extra 15% is given. I didn't buy anything though for my shopping buddy, Farhanah wasn't there to join me. Eceh. A bit emo here.

Hilal was literally couldn't stop himself from holding a blue lace panties and kept shoving it in front of my eyes. WTH, wei. He got issues with lace, you see. Ehem ehem.

Then a lost boy came running and crying. Hilal was there to rescue the kid. Suddenly, the mother came to us and everything was okay.

Since I was supposed to get home early by 2pm, we headed to The Loaf. After being so you-decide-la moment, we asked for the baker's advice on what to eat. So, we decided to have Cranberry Cheese for both me and Hilal. I had cold milk which costs me RM6.50 and they tasted like Dutch Lady's with ice instead. It's okay, splurge sahaja. Not to mention, Hilal also added up Oreo Crunchy Munch Cheescake. Haaa, I know just the thing for someone's birthday. Hilal told me to order coffee but seriously I didn't noticed at all about his enquiry. Sorry, mate. Ashli was having lasagne and Naomi had a some sort of sandwhich.

Lemme tell ya something. I tried the Cranberry Cheese and the taste was mind blowing. I love the cheese feeling and to top it off with a glass of cold milk, I'd say: Heaven! :)

Alligator Sky (feat. Shawn Chrystopher) by Owl City

Love You Like A Love Song by Selena Gomez

Mailbox.

2011-06-23T21:49:00.014+08:00

I received the necklaces that I bought from Delirious via online. At the look of the pendant's aeroplane and Eiffel Tower, I was speechless for they looked really, really tiny.

I was rather dissappointed with the length of the necklaces. Sigh. When I wore them, the pendant rest between my chest. They looked short and the pendant just so TINY. I e-mailed the owner and she said the length can be altered actually and no extra charges will be charged.

You were saying? Now, why didn't I think of asking about that before. Tulah, excited sangat shopping online for the first time. Sob.

Happy 8th Birthday, sis.

2011-06-21T23:34:00.007+08:00

Time flies. You get the idea, right?

Okay, it's coming to an end of June already and I'm still at home mengharapkan duit simpati dari parents while my friends got jobs already and living their life happily ever after. HAHA!

Yesterday was Aisyah's birthday. I bought her a New York cheese cake from Secret Recipe and goodie bags that me and Aisyah had already packed the night before. She was so excited and I can't blame her for asking my help anyway.

You can see her smiling:

I'm a social oucast.

2011-06-20T00:25:00.005+08:00

I attended a kenduri arwah today. Like obviously, everyone will be wearing decent clothes, no? Well, SOME people are not custom to proper attire especially for muslims event.

Dah tahu kenduri arwah, kau pakai skinny jeans, heals tak boleh nak tinggi lagi and worse, with the most heaviest makeup I've ever seen and your hair that will make Medusa wanting to chop off her snake hair whatever because it just seems so wrong. Like WTH wei. Just because you live in Indonesia? So you think you can wear whatever you want? Wei come on wei. Ni majlis with every family attended. It doesn't show any sensitvity or respect to the majlis.

Okay, actually I AM offended with these kind of people. Pakai baju tak serupa bikin.

I hate being there. My dad's side of family, they're all hypocrites. Yes, i goddamn saying this because there's been a drama going on and they knew all the secrets. Guess what, my family is the social outcasts. Yelah, my family is not the social type and not up-to-date with fashion whatsover. But I vow that I'll prove them wrong one day.

I know it sounds like I'm in it for revenge but how to say this...

It's more like justice is not being served and hating is the only way.

Hey now.

2011-06-17T22:16:00.007+08:00

It has been ages now, hasn't it? :p

I learned to shop online. Yey me! I shopped for shawl and accessories actually. I found this blog called teensflavour.blogspot.com and they sell very pretty pashminas and selendang. Here are the few selendang that i bought from them. They sold them at a very affordable price that is Rm18 per piece. With the purchases of three and above, you'll only have to pay rm16 per piece. How cheap is that, huh?

I came across deliriousaccessories.blogspot.com, where they sells, well, accessories. I'm currently into long necklaces and bracelets. I bought three long necklaces and a bracelet. Hehe. It's quite cheap actually. Not that really cheap but well-priced, I guess. They even sell cute rings and bangles, too. Now I'm waiting for my parcel that will be arriving next week. :)

Shopaholic much? Muahaha.

Since I'm not going to further studies until September, I stayed at home instead doing chores... bla bla bla. So, i decided to take a part-time job. I went to Tutti Fruitty and a shop that sells toddler clothes called TOTSHOP. Hmm, noticed the name? Somehow Tutti Fruitty and Kopikaw are owned by the same owner. I went for the interview and the manager said, "Tutti Fruitty penuh. If Kopikaw, boleh! Sebab i really, really need people to work here. Shifts kat sini...bla bla bla..."

By the way, I'm here for a PART-TIME JOB AT TUTTI FRUTTI, not KOPIKAW. Sigh.

Kopikaw is a famous restaurant for it's super snail services. Muahaha. Ce check on Foursquare. :P

I've been thinking to get a job at Kumon but my friends told me that the pay wasn't good enough. Like rm2.50 per hour. I can only afford to buy Jambu with Asam Boi for one buck la then or dim sum. :

I miss him.

Nite, people.

Listening to this song:

I'm not some rebound act that you can play with.

2011-02-05T14:00:00.008+08:00

This so called crush thing happened long, long time ago.

I’m afraid when it comes to feelings, relationship stuff and etc. I don’t know why I’m writing this but writing them anyway. You see, I used to like this guy. Well, like any average girl out there, I saw him as the right guy (typical, huh?).

He used to hang out with a good friend of mine and sometimes we met a couple of times, exchanging hellos and sorts. At one point, he asked for my phone number and I was super excited. Oh, come on! When the person you like approaches you, your heart sure fluttered and gave you the tingling sensation, right? Seriously.

Yeah, we sure did texted each other and everything. At first, I thought he was hitting on me, ya know. We had lunch couple of times, do sports and play everything. Basically, almost every day, we hang out until everyone thought we were an item. At the moment, I was hoping just the same. But no more now.

He made it clear that he wasn’t looking for the right one just yet. Yet, I felt like he was giving me the signs and I acted like a fool all this time. At one point, I stopped texting and everything, thinking he might at least say hi or anything. But again, I’m the fool in this story. He found some other new girl to hang out with. Bravo, you!

I was disheartened, of course. But yeah, my family had their flipside and I quickly came to my senses and thought to myself that family comes first.

Until at this time, I can’t help but wonder why he was giving me the hopes be it he realized it or not. I guess he was being just a friend, but seriously cam entahlah. Maybe it was just me who took it the wrong way. But still, I’m not the only one to be blame here.

As far as I’m concern, I’m more protective now and I know I’m better off with someone who appreciates me. I may not be the prettiest girl or the smartest one but it would means a lot to me if there is someone who can accept me for who I am and not for mistaken me as some ‘rebound’ act, right?

The Bronte's.

2011-02-04T23:55:00.004+08:00

I was feeling sleepier than ever. Figures la since I’ve been staying up late. Usually I would sleep around 2 but ever since my hands are laid upon the laptop, I’d realized that by the time, it was way past my bedtime.

We went to Mak Yah’s in the morning and visiting my grandmother’s grave. As I was reading Yassin for arwah, I couldn’t help but notice how peaceful it was at that time. It may sounds eerie at the thought of grave, right? But, iono.

After that, we had breakfast near Jalan AU2 where this stall selling the best mee hoon soup I’ve ever taste. Mak Yah couldn’t tag along for she went out to buy the ingredients to make her signature food; cream puff. She got the order from her friend for her niece’s wedding. So, we bought her some breakfast and for Abang Boy also.

I helped Mak Yah to bake the cream puff. I was assigned to squirt the custard into the puff. The squirting itself consist of a squirting gun. Haha. Comel je the gun. Adam and Asiyah also helped, too by staring at me in envy. “Ala, you guys dah besar nanti baru boleh help Mak Yah, okay?” I already told Mak Yah that after matriculation, I’ll have five months of holiday until I get into university. And that I would like to learn on making the best cream puff ever. Since, she got no daughter of her own but only two sons, she was ever than willing to teach me. Yey, me!

The customer that ordered for the cream puff came to retrieve her order. I was busy helping to distribute the cream puff into the tray while my mom came to borak-borak with that aunty. Mama said, “Ha, Mek Yah! For Siti, u buat la cream puff for her wedding. Nanti kita plan for her baju pengantin semua,” In my mind, I was like, Ah sudah. Mula la tu. The aunty pulak nak tambah-tambah making Mama excited about my wedding-in-the-making.

We then went to PKNS Shah Alam to buy a jubah for Cluster A annual dinner. I don’t know why that I’ve been moody for awhile there. I guess I was pretty uptight with Adam and Aisyah for running around like madness. Orang dah la ramai in PKNS. Ish, And I don’t like the crowd. Mama tagged us along to her usual shop where she bought her jubah there. Along there, we came across a dress-like jubah and Alhamdulillah, the colour is navy blue. And it is my favourite colour plak tu. Just the right colour for the theme for that night. I was happy because when I tried it on, it looks like I’m in Charlotte Bronte’s world (yup, the very famous Bronte’s family who broke the tradition for becoming one of the first female writers of her time). Mama was excited saying that, “Kaklong, omg, your baju is like zaman Empire yang minah saleh pakai in their time. And, duh, you’re so pretty in that dress.” I was like, “Really, ma? Serious lawa kan baju ni? Can I have it?” I got the dress-like jubah and mama bought two of her own. She’s into jubah now, actually. But not the typically black jubah la. They came with many varieties, I mean the design and all. The salesgirl asked my mom, “Kak, anak kakak ke ni? Sulung eh? Comel la dia.” Uh, I went silent and moody again.

Back at home, I tried again the dress-like jubah with my mom. She was with her excited state (which seems good enough for me) and she even took pictures of me. I was a bit shy actually. But I did what she asked. Then she broke off saying, “Mama nak tunjuk kat kawan-kawan mama at school.” Then I said, “Huh? Ma, janganlah. Buruk la gambar tu.” I wore selendang with the jubah but it was my first time trying on them so it was pretty awkward la for me kan the selendang tu. And mama was having none of it. Allah, tolong la jangan bagi mama ingat to show my pictures to her friends. Malu la.

I've been trying to post on video here but everytime I tried to change the coding, I'll end up with a blank page instead. Grrr.

Tomorrow: Buy the suitable shoes and accessories. Plus, the stuff for cupcakes.

P/S: Abah, do remember to take my new glasses at Subang Parade.

PP/S: No wonder la I’m in a bad mood. PMS much, eh. Ma, nak Stayfree please. Teehee.

What The Hell by Aril Lavigne

Playful Kiss, jom!

2011-02-04T00:56:00.009+08:00

Here's the synopsis of this Korean Drama:

Based on the popular manga, Oh Ha Ni is a clumsy student who falls for the perfectionist, Baek Seung Jo. However, Seung Jo is indifferent towards her and rejects her love. When Ha Ni’s house collapses, she and her father moves into his long-time friend’s house. It turns out that Seung Jo is the friend’s son and Ha Ni is given the opportunity to be near the guy she loves.

I'm not exatcly into Korean Drama actually. But I saw an article about this tv series and I was practically hooked about it.

I've seen the guy before. I think I've seen him in Boys Over Flower, if I'm not mistaken. But I used to hate him in that story but after watching this one, I kinda like him. Sorta.

Truth to be told, he is such a jerk! I mean Oh Ha Ni has been having this huge crush on him for almost four years and after she sent him a love letter, he let her down in a very humiliating way ever; he corrected her Korean grammar and even gave her a D for it and simply said he didn't like a scatterbrain like her. Oi, give her some courtesy, will ya? At least she made an effort to prove that she's into you. Okay, moving on.

When an earthquake hits her house, she and her father had to move away. As if an angel were sent from above, an old friend of her father took them in. It turns out that Seung Jo is the son of the good man who let Ha Ni and her father to move into their house. That's where the waves hit.

The plot was rather predictable but I don't know. Watching them really makes me smiling all the way. Although there's the part where I would get frustrated watching Seung Jo gave the cold shoulder to sweet little Ha Ni. I mean the girl is kind what? Dahla comel. Okay, she can't cook and may not be the smartest person ever but she got the kindness and the will to keep on going no matter what hits her along the way.

When two guys starts to noticed her and confessed to her, then there's a change upon Seung Jo that is; HE IS JEALOUS! Aha! Caught you red handed now eh, Seung Jo. But he remained compossed and again, letting Oh Ha Ni locked up in her room crying all over again. Blimey, I seriously wants to sepak-ing him, ya know. Grrr!

Just then one of the two guys named Guun Jo, had asked her hand for marriage. Walawei! Stupid Seung Jo for letting her go. At one point, he tried a bit to kiss her and she went scared and ran away. Seung Jo was there to be the hero, pergh! Konon! Just then, Ha Ni got the courage to simply blurted everything by demanding why he had been nothing but a jack-ass. Before she could even finished, he kissed her! Like fully on the mouth. I was practically swooning over it. Muahaha.

Again, he went cold shoulder again la. Yada yada. It hit me that he was only testing her whether she would remain in love with him or throw the love in the trash can instead. She remained loyal to him and he finally gave in and rest assured that he too, loves her unconditionally.

Aww, in the end baru nak sweet la ape la. Bodoh you, Seung Jo! U buat her suffer like that. Shish!

But all well ends well. :)

SS501 - The One

Revelation.

2011-02-03T22:24:00.008+08:00

Hilal picked me and Izura (Iwa) up around noon (late-ness la Hilal ni) and we headed off to One Utama. Actually, we planned everything to the last minute. Haha.

As we were on our way, Iwa brought the relationship topic to the table. She asked Hilal about his girlfriend and that was then, the truth revealed. He had a gf until last week because they just broke up. You see, he said that the girl he fell in love with was our junior back in SMKBJ. She was not among our favourite for she’s quite the weird type where well, basically gedik but I’ve never get to know her too much, really. Just that I don’t like her on the first time my eyes laid on her. Oh what the heck, this is my best friend’s girl I’m talking about right? Sorry, Hilal. But you know that already.

Hilal was quite, I mean, hugely broken-hearted over this matter. I don’t know what to do. If I’d give him a hug, who’d be driving the car en? Haha. He said that he didn’t want people to know that he’s with D actually. Okay, I respect his privacy. But seriously, dude, the whole world will know about it sooner or later, right? Like blah, if I was the girl, I’d probably want him to acknowledge me as his special someone.

He found out that she moved on with some other guy; the best friend. Iwa told Hilal that best-friend turns lover won’t do the trick actually. I’ve been thinking, since new bf is schooling in the same school with her while Hilal is in UiTM Shah Alam, guess the latter won’t be seeing her often la kan. So, that’s why, another minor reason is that she decided to be with her best friend because she gets to see him often at school.

Upon arriving, we went to GSC and booked Season of The Witch. Among the movies enlisted, we chose that kan? But I was hopeful thinking that Nicholas Cage would save the day. He actually did, although he died in the end. Bapak cuak oh watching the movie. Since Hilal was sitting between us, he went stupid by making sound effects and all. Iwa and I kept battering him with our handbag or simply shush him. Me and Iwa covered our face with our palms peeking at the screen as if like peek-a-boo.

Iwa was like, “Babi! Babi!” I was like, “Shit, Shit” whilst Hilal keep whooping or yay-ing. Nice, Hilal! Not.

Me and Hilal finished the large popcorn. Seriously, I’ve never been that hungry although I’ve already taken breakfast actually. We went to Seri Melaka restaurant. Me and Iwa ordered Cantonese Fried Kuey Teow (my fav!) and I had hot barley while Iwa had cold cincau. Hilal was having none for he was busy emo-ing himself. Lek je la, Hilal.

Hilal wants to go to and see some accessory and off we go. He wants to buy uhm, gelang kaki for D. He wants to win her back oh. Awww. Seriously, I never knew that Hilal’s actually a romantic kind of person and creative, too. Blimey.

We then went to this arts craft shop called Crafts Haven where they sell DIY cards, and all the creative decorations that you can buy. They even offer tutorial class for making scrapbook (like creative ones), wax making, porcelain designing or something. I was excited that I took the form. I’m thinking of taking a few classes there. Hilal bought a small hexagonal cardboard box and some decorative papers to wrap the box. Well, he wants to put the gelang kaki inside the box actually. Seriously, Hilal. You are so going to win her back. Good luck oh.

Then, Hilal went hungry. So much for the emo sampai tak lalu makan, kan? We came across Kebab King were the aroma of grilled beef and chicken made us salivating. I and Iwa eyed each other and we agreed to eat the kebab pulak. Serious sedap oh kebab.

Then we headed home. I was exhausted actually with all the revelation and gossiping. Haha. we shall do this again, folks.

Hilal, i recommend you this song; If You Ever Come Back by The Script.

Gratification.

2011-01-22T22:26:00.003+08:00

Thank you, Ismat Jazli.

:P :P :P :P :P :P :P
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

:P :P :P :P :P :P :P

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Girls just wanna have fun.

2011-01-22T01:49:00.004+08:00

I went to One Utama to shop for my wardrobe. I went with Shila and her cousin, Ila. After picking them up, I wasn’t sure whether to go to OU or Sunway Pyramid because it was 3 pm already. And it takes me 15 minutes to get there. But if I went to Sunway Pyramid, I’ll be at lost for I’m not used to shop there. Since I took the highway, so OU here I came.

Thank god there was no problem during parking. We went to Padini Concept Store. I spotted this black and white dress and my eyes went gooey for the dress looks cute and I was looking for a red cardigan for my Promod dress back at home. Instead, I chose the dress instead and I skipped the red cardigan for I found this cute jacket with a flower pinned to it. After paying, we went to Dorothy Perkins and my oh my, their clothes are just plain boring. I mean the colours are dull and there’s no catch to it.

I went to Topshop then. Again, blah.

At Promod, what a yawner.

Then, I went to La Senza. OMG! The new design is so cute and now I’m officially a La Senza member after shopping there.

I was anxious to get into Gap but then again, it was such a downer for Gap has failed to impress me with their latest design. Bummer.

Here are some other worth-a-yawn shops that we went through; Cotton On, Nine West, Nose…

Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say bad things about the stores that we’ve gone through but it just me, okay. Sorry, guys.

I was looking for a pair of shoes and we decided to hit Padini Concept Store again and I bought my first ever wedges.

We went frenzied when we saw cute t-shirts with statements that are irresistible. I bought this white long sleeved t-shirt that has a picture of a postcard on it that says, Don’t worry. I promised that we stay in Paris (it sounds something like that).

Dear, Shila. You forgot your t-shirt. It’s in my car. I’ll give you this Sunday, okay? FYI, we should go out again.

At home, my family and I watched Chihuahua Beverley Hills and mama was talking about this German Shepherd dog named Delgado in the movie and she said if he's human, handsome ni. Mama certainly likes German Shepherd’s breed.

I heard this song when I was in La Senza. :)

This boy got talent and he is A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E!

Zuleikha, be heartless, will ya?

2011-01-21T00:29:00.005+08:00

My family and I were supposed to go to cinema but after we had KFC for lunch, we end up sleeping like a bear. Sigh.

I woke up feeling exhausted than ever and Mama went to me and asked, “Kaklong, do you mind if you go to Tanjung restaurant and buy me Tomyam?”

I rubbed my eyes and gave an ‘O’ yawn and I quickly getting myself ready. I wore my jeans and my polo t-shirt with a grey cardigan over it. Not to mention my black scarf. I wore my mom’s wedges and to be honest, I’m over heels over those shoes. She said, “Kaklong ambik je kasut tu,” Awww, thanks ma.

I went with Syasya, my sister. We went to the mamak and I ordered for the menu that mama had written on a piece of paper for me. We used to write something down especially since I can’t rely on my almost-20-year-old brain. We waited for the food and one of the mamak came over to talk with me. I swear to God that I would simply grab Syasya and waited inside the car. I don’t really enjoy talking to strangers especially if it’s a male. Unless you’re some cute guy, why not? LOL. Joking, joking.

After I’d paid for the food, we went to Mydin to buy some milk and fruit juices (Mango juice is so my liking at the mo). But the shop was crowded so we headed home instead. As we passed by the petrol station near the junction, an oncoming car hit a motorcycle. The guy who was riding the bike looks like a security guard to me based on the uniform he was wearing. The driver went out of the car and went to the unfortunate security guard. The security guard looks shaken and people from the petrol station ran over to help him. I was like, “Syasya! Did you see that? OMG! OMG! OMG!” Aisyah simply said, “Nampak.”

When we arrived, I told my mom about it. Mama was ever so cuak and she said, “Awak buat ape kat dia? Why langgar dia?” At first, I was at blur but then I realized that my mom was ACCUSING me instead. I simply at guard and explain all over again. Phew, she seems relaxed later on. Syasya simply shook her head and tried to hide her laughter but she failed. :p

We were watching Mel B: It’s A Scary World on Channel E! I just love her accent! Well, Mel B is a British and she was the former member of Spice Girls. Yada, yada.

Mama talked about yesterday news where a guy burned to death in front of his two friends. They all were in a car accident. It seems that they can’t do anything to help their burning friend except for watching in horror. Then she told me about her first time teaching in Sentol, KL. It had been a year after she married to Abah and they were about to move to Pulau Pinang. There was this boy in Standard Six and mama was his class teacher. His younger sister died in a fire accident.

It all happened when the sister was in the care of a babysitter. The babysitter went out to buy breakfast and she locked the door. The only people left were her 5 year old kid with the little girl. They played with matches and that’s where the fire starts. The 5 year old kid got his way out but the little girl did not survive the accident. The fire fighters tried to put the fire out but ajal kan. They saw the girl was standing at the window and screaming on top of her lung. The window was gated and for a split of a second, the fire had already engulfed her. They said her eyes bulged and her head exploded because of the flame. It seems that the head was practically cooked and the brain melted when burned.

Inalillah to the deceased. Al-fatihah.

I'm sorry.

2011-01-19T23:45:00.005+08:00

I'll get to writing the 'normal' blog instead okay.

Dear INSPIRATION, please come knocking my brain.

Thank You.

Ha! OMG! I've just seen this still picture from Breaking Dawn. Here, here, here! I'm uploading it:

Tada!

Breath, Zuleikha, breath!

Put yourself together!

They look so perfect together, kan? I'm practically swooning looking at this picture. I can hardly wait for the movie premiere of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1. I heard that the movie is showing on 18th November 2011. Readers, mark your calendar. I'm not sure on the exact date for Malaysia actually.

Yada, yada.

I can hardly wait for this movie. Gaah! How many times do I have to mention that, right? Like they're so perfect for each other be it on and off screen. Kan, kan, kan? I'm sorry. It just that I'm actually excited. I've never watched New Moon and Eclipse, kan Hilal?

I hope they're doing the sleepover at Cineleisure Damansara again for this movie where they played back to back movies from Twilight to Eclipse. OMG! I'm so gonna win that if they're still holding up the competition.

Suddenly, I feel like drinking coffee. Iono why. Let's hit Starbucks then. Latte or Caramel? Hmm.

Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?

2011-01-19T13:00:00.006+08:00

LMAO! OMG! I love this song. This song is so catchy that I just wanna dance to the beat. Hey, let’s dance, baby (well, practically dancing in the room while my cat, Hermione looks on)! Lol. I mean like who cares if the song sounds so pervert-ish. Girls just wanna have fun. Yada, yada.

You guys should try Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F) by Katy Perry, too.

Aww, Katy Perry is so pretty and Not Like The Movies makes me all teary. Freaking sweet la that song. I wish I'd be the girl in that song.

IYAZ! You are so going to make every girls in the whole wide world (including me) falling head over heels for you. Just did actually. The songs that you made are so heart-warming and yeah, jiwang but seriously, ME LIKEY!!!

Wishing for the one is out there for me...

Dial her number and confess to her la stupid - Danny O'Donoghue

2011-01-18T23:57:00.005+08:00

At first watching this video for a few minutes, it looks innocently sweet.

I remembered watching this video with Ana. She thought I was being heartless at the moment for I thought it was just some typical video. Suddenly I realised, my cheeks were wet because of the tears. So called for crying me a river eh, Ana?

So sad the guy died in the end. The song actually was from the guy's point of view and it was dedicated to her for how she'd sacrifices a lot of her times and efforts on him. And him being sorry for not being there for her kinda stuff. You guys out there better jaga your soulmates aw. If not I kejar with a mop instead.

It looks simple, I mean the video is, but it convey a very strong emotion deep inside. Hence, the results was that my eyes looks swollen. And don't start on when I'm crying because I'll get my head becoming light-headed and I can't think straight. Seriously, I'll be exhausted in a matter of time. Either I take a shower or go to sleep or I'll throw tantrum. Haha. Serious la, actually.

P/S: Ana, gelak la gelak tengok I nangis haritu en? :(

Cm nak gelak pun ada bila teringat balik.

A Secret Admirer, Perhaps?

2011-01-17T22:04:00.006+08:00

Mama gave me this envelope and I was so excited that I simply tear it off at first hand. The reason was that I'd usually got letters from MPH Bookstore but this time the envelope looks different. And, I got a birthday card!

Actually it was from Braun Buffel wishing me Happy Birthday. Awww, that's thoughtful of you guys. Another reason to shop at Braun Buffel. Abah, your daughter needs to shop!

Hey, here's another single from The Script's latest album, Science and Faith that is called Nothing. Seriously, I can't stop listening to this song over and over again. It's on top of the list in my Ipod Nano. :)

Enjoy!

That's how we roll, baby.

2011-01-17T12:36:00.007+08:00

Piggyback

Get a room already!

Adam and Optimus Prime.

I'm sorry for the pictures above. They're not that good except for Adam la kan. He was really excited with this photoshoot of ours. LOL! (Figures on his face.)

Am I stupid girl for even dreaming that I could?

2011-01-17T00:25:00.006+08:00

I received a text message from Fana. She asked me to go out today but I had made plans. My family and I were going to my aunty’s house for lunch.

Dear Fana,

Sorry aw I couldn’t make it. I promised you this weekend we go out okay.

Lots of love, Zuleikha.

P/S: Your Birthday Present awaits you :)

Mak Yah (my mom’s only sister) cooked Beef Soup, fried tempe and fried fish. Speaking of tempe, me no likey. My aunty was like, “Siti tak makan tempe? Sedap taw.”
If I’m a kid, you can kawtaw la kan but I’m turning 20 this December, my dear Mak Yah. Mama cutting in saying, “Ala, she’s not pure Javanese la, Mek Yah,” (Mek stands for kak in Kelantan).

I figured out that our family came from the Cheng Ho generation where he was our ancestor la kan. That would be from my grandmother’s side (my mom’s mom). While for my grandfather’s side (he was a Javanese), where our ancestor came from the Javanese royalty where (I heard that) the son of the fourth wife of the king merajuk over some harta pusaka and stuff. He took the sail and off he went and landed on Kelantan (among all the places in the world). Haha.

Suddenly, my cousin, Abang Apin came into the house after playing rugby with his Victoria Institution alumni. He seemed cheerful today knowing that he broke up with his girlfriend, Christine (whom a Chinese and she’s his boss at Celebrity Fitness) recently. I wonder how he copes with the break up thing because he is the loyal type and once he fall for a girl, he really falls hard for her, ya know. Turns out that he move on with an old woman. When I said old, I meant she is older than him for the woman is 30 and he’s like 23. But hey, love is blind, baby.

Uhm, what happened was Mak Yah gone ballistic over this and we were all there to watch the drama of the year. Abang Apin kept looking at me as if saying “A little help here, please!” I simply shrugged and laughed. Mama eyed me and I stopped laughing and muffled instead.

We went shopping for a while at Reject Shop in Shah Alam Mall. We bought Adam’s first underwear. Woop woop, Adam. And he went everywhere holding his new undies. We all giggling and laughing real hard watching him tegur this girl of his age while HOLDING his underwear. Like apa ni, Adam. Haish. Me, Amer and Afiq got a new towel each. Mine was red and the boys got themselves blue and green coloured towel. I went gaga over the new towel for I used to like red colour actually. Now, I’m starting to like blue instead. But still, I went gaga.

Hey, what’s your colour?

After I took a bath, I looked at myself in the full length mirror and I saw how my legs and my face coloured differently. My face and both my arms looked tan while my legs looked really whitish. Sob, biler nak putih ni? Then, I showered Adam after cleaning up myself to a new grey t-shirt and shorts. Guess what, he simply splashes water over my new t-shirt. Grrr! Now I have to change again.

Went to Mydin and 7E and Hermione gave me a quick kiss on the lips when I get out of my car. Yalah, she was standing on top of my car and I thought she was sniffing me or something but then I felt the pressure on my lips. And she went. “Meow!” Lol, I missed you too, Hermio-ninny :P

Mama said, " See kaklong, model ni tak pakai pun braces. You malu gigi you camtu kenapa?"
I only gave her this; :(

Mine

2011-01-16T01:20:00.004+08:00

Okay, everytime I watched Mine by Taylor Swift, where the fighting scene between her and the guy I would get all teary. Iono why la. But somewhat rather reminds me of how my parents ended up now. Yeah, my parents divorced since last year. It was really the hardest part of my life. I mean everybody got their own bad time right?

I remembered how I got all teary every single damn day. There was not a single day where I didn't cry at all. I used to curled up and shape myself like a ball hiding underneath the comforter waiting for someone to find me and hugged me saying that everything's going to be alright. But it didn't turns out that way. I went to classes (in KMNS) having to fake a smile, a laugh like everyday. Only my besties knew about it at that time. They helped me to recuperate. I was smiling but it never did touches the eyes.

Sure thing that everybody wishes for a happy ending but I realised that we got to work our ass off for it. We can't just sitting there and doing nothing. There are so many questions that are in need of answers.

Yes, I am afraid on facing the future. Who knows what I'll end up being? Happy? Sad? One thing for sure, I'm really looking forward to see what the future beholds us. :)

~You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter,

you are the best thing that ever been mine~

Taylor Swift's Mine

I'm stupid, I'm useless, I can't do anything right.

2011-01-15T14:53:00.007+08:00

Hello, Blogspot. It has been awhile hasn't it?

Today is a cause for celebration for a good friend of mine; Nishant had just graduated from Taylor’s College. Woohoo, Nishant

So, I get on my dad’s car that I adored so much, the golden Chevrolet Nabira. My Kembara is lost somewhere near our second house in Bukit Subang. I drove to Domino Pizza at D’Bayu near Padang Besar where they got basketball court and freaking huge area for playing football.
I waited for Nishant and he was a bit shy. Well, it’s been two years since we’ve met. Nishant used to be friends with Ganesa Moorthi (Moooorthi), Sreeraj (Raji), Satheesh (the giraffe in our school) and Magen Kumar (yes, he was the hottest Indian boy in our school and he was my ex boyfriend). These people are famous for always cracking up jokes and all but Nishant was always the quiet type and shy one.

We had regular pizza with the Tuna Mediterranean as the topping and Claasic Hand Tossed for the crust. After 15 minutes, we dig in. We talked about how we used to be like in school and how pre-u and university life had changed our life. I ordered some pizza for Mama and my siblings.

I suggested to Nishant that we go to Empire Subang Shopping Mall. And off we go. As we arriving, we headed straight to the parking lot and we went merry go round in the parking lot in order to search for a vacant one. Alas, we found one. I was ready to turn left. Thinking that my right side will be besides the BMW car, my mind was quite occupied thinking that I must not hit it. Little that I know, I should have go forward for a little bit before I turn. I forgot that Nabira had a long body so I simply took the sharp turn left. Suddenly, a loud screeched from my left side becomes deafening. Here how my overreacting take action;

Me: Okayyyyy! What the hell was that?

Nishant: OMG! Sorry, I wasn’t aware that your car hit the wall la Zue!

Me: WTH? Omg, die la I cmni. Omg, omg, omg! Nishant, I nak buat ape ni? Sob2. Mati la I cmni. My dad sure marah and I tak boleh keluar rumah semua. How am I supposed to go out after this? My god, my baby (Nabira) dah rosak. Dahla I sayang kereta ni. Omg, omg, omg.

Nishant: Ok, we park somewhere else la cmtu.

Me: (I was like, huh?) Okay.

As we get to a new spot, I was practically pulling the key off the ignition and literally jump out of my beloved car and Nishant was like, La, a few scratches je pun. I was relieved but God, the paint from the wall looks like it was practically smeared on the area. Thank God, that Nabira got some PVC covered lining across the body and the damaged was done. Not bad I guess. I guess!

We went inside the building and as I was holding my handphone, I didn’t see the parking ticket WITH the phone for I was freaking sure it came with the phone when I was holding it. Again, I went dipstick and running back and forth searching for the effing ticket. Just then, I decided to pay using Touch ‘n’ Go. Freaking brilliant, right. And Nishant wasn’t buying it. Okay, fine. I’ll go to the customer service.

But we went to Tangs first and I bought this set of Carolina Herrera’s body lotion and perfume. Actually I was still in shocked that I practically went round and round in Tangs. By the way, I became a member of Tangs for I bought the perfume. For free pulak tu. Yey, no registration fees. So we headed to the customer service and we went down to the office and I got to pay RM20 for fine. Phew, rather than Mid Valley for RM50. We came across Dorothy Perkins and La Senza and I was like, OMG! Nak shopping! :( But this girl ain't got no money.

We headed home and along the way, again I was overreacting when Nishant said, Eh, you’re going ah for Justin Bieber’s concert? I was like, Huh? When la? OMG, OMG OMG. Like O-M-G! I THOUGHT HE’S PERFORMING IN PHILIPHINES OR SOMETHING, RIGHT? OMG, OMG, OMG. Are you serious? He said, Eh, lek la. everybody knows what. I was like, WTH? EVERYBODY KNOWS? Y I X TAU PAPE NI. OMG, ZUE KENAPA BLUR SGT NI? OMG.

Poor Nishant had to see me going crazy but I’d already apologized saying that the fact my car got scratched got me into this situation. He was all okay-ed later on.

At the same time, it seems like the radio was patronizing me when they played these songs;

According To You by Orianthi

Apologize by OneRepublic

Not Like The Movies by Katy Perry (It was my ringtone actually)

P/S: Ismat, thanks for calling okay. :)

Sorry, can't get enough of Katy Perry's songs:

~Snow White said when I was young, "One day my prince will come."

So I wait for that date.~

Katy Perry's Not Like The Movies

You lot better watch this movie or else.

2010-11-06T21:26:00.001+08:00

Everybody's beautiful.

2010-11-06T00:38:00.006+08:00

A few days ago, I went to KFC at Pangkin near my house. I went in, wearing a white t-shirt with a grey cardigan, dark blue tudung and my old black tracksuit. As I walking towards the counter, I saw my juniors of two years were queing and I was wishing real hard for my jeans instead. Haha. I look like a vermin among them, perhaps.

Knowing that some of them would recognized me, I just stood there and just stared at them. The boys had grown to become men, the girls had grown to become women. They look so beautiful. Somehow, I thought to myself; Am I getting smaller or are they getting bigger?

Mama had been reading one my Seventeen magazines. It was the October Issue with these special pages of Justin Bieber in it. She pointed out this picture of a female model that shows only her face and she was smiling that shows her almost perfect white teeth. Mama says; See, kaklong. Model ni pun xdelah straight sgt gigi dia. Imperfection that makes you unique and it makes you standout.

I was like; Okayh. No pun intended.

Then, I went to Facebook looking at some people's pictures. Sometimes I blushed looking at their pictures and it felt like I was stalking them but I'm not. Then, I stopped. I was staring at my ex-crush's pictures and I felt like crying. Why? Oh, I don't know. Just then I remembered the memories that I had with him. Well, we haven't had a thing that called relationship, though. It just breaks my heart, you know. Though I told myself to move on but still I was hoping when I found the right guy, I would stop wishing for him. I'm not desperate. It just that I adored him, well, I used to. One day, I'm going to laugh it off real hard.

Just A dream by Nelly
Firework by Katy Perry
Please Don't Go by Mike Posner

Antagonistic

2010-09-06T16:29:00.003+08:00

Basically I’m such in a no-good mood.

A friend of mine asking my ex-crush out to go to bazaar on Sunday. I overheard their conversation when I came in to lecture hall. I was having a fever and after what I’d overheard of, really making my temperature rising and I was about to explode like a volcano. Rasa macam nak lempang okay. Then, she was acting real nice la to me saying, “Zue, are you okay?” I was practically cursing under my breath and literally ignoring her.

It was the second fault that she’d strike. Like wtf la. Doesn’t she know anything about The Rule?

Mana boleh hang out dengan the guy yang kawan you pernah suka or used to have relationship with. Unless you got the green light la kan.

Oh my god! Bibik belakang rumah ni asyik menyalak like 24/7. Time tengah azan pulak tuh. Another pig di sini ye.

I really hate this fever okay. Even though I came home early than expected, I cannot go out shopping for raya! How sad is that la. Not to mention, countless of days to puasa ganti lagi. Hehe.

Dah lama gila okay tak shopping.

GAP, baby, here I come.

Mine by Taylor Swift
This Girl by Laza Morgan

If I say goodbye

2010-07-31T22:33:00.003+08:00

I hate goodbyes. It makes me sad and moody all over, you know. But sometimes they said happy-happy pun tak elok. Nanti lupa diri. It's true, though. Soon enough, end up with tears and all.

I can't help blaming myself for repeating matriculation. I used to think it's like university where the timetables are linear and you can even have time to do your assignments and all. But none of it for the matter. It's like bullet-train. Everything is so fast that when you say "Oh!" seems like half of the chapter melayang ke udara already.

And worst, I tak nampak my vision of what am I going to be in the future. I used to think of myself as being a vet. Now, the vision is somewhat blurry.

Yet, I'm thankful enough for Allah has given me the second chance to repeat matriculation. Some says it as a waste if time and some supported my decision to go through it all over again. I mean everybody has their points of view right. So, it doesn't matter. I'll try my best this time around and I promise to make it up for my parents. I feel like I anak derhaka for letting them down. Sob. Ma, Abah, I'm so sorry for being such daughter.

Ramadan is just around the corner. During that time, berdoalah. Pray for whatever you want. Insya-Allah, dimakbulkan. Be it good or bad, Allah SWT knows it better. Allahualam.

Salam Ramadan to all Muslims in the whole wide world.

Something About Us.

2010-07-29T21:04:00.004+08:00

I want Cayenne GTS by Porsche! Muahahaha!

I'm in love!

2010-07-28T00:25:00.006+08:00

Memang tak la oi. Don't get me wrong okay. Actually I'm in love with Body Shop's Vanilla. It smells like Apollo cake, so I've been told but it smells so sickeningly sweet that my nostrils kept sniffing at my armpits whenever I put them on. Joke, joke.

I went to Body Shop today at Subang Parade. My oh my, they got newbies on the shelf. I'd came across a perfume that smell like and called Laici. Sedap gak ah. But I still prefer Vanilla. MUAHAHAHA. i bought this small, like tiny ones, set of Vanillas. It consists of Vanilla Eau de toilette perfume, Vanilla Bath & Shower Gel and Vanilla Body Lotion. It sure is nostril smelling sweet. Haha.

I asked the saleswoman on any otherVanilla's product like bigger bottle of the perfume and shower gel or something but she said there's none. She also mentioned that the company doesn't stick to a type of product for that long. Yeah, where's the catch in the business then, right?

I also like Peach Shower Gel. Serious shit sedap bau dia.

I sweep and mopped the kitchen and study room. Pretty exhausted la because after went back home from Sbg. Parade, I straightly get things done. But it was worth it, you know. Because I'd found a few bucks when I cleaned up the study room. Macam mencari harta karun. Haha. Mama praised me for my hardwork. Alhamdulillah. It's good to see Mama put on a smile on her face after she got back from work. We got no maid, so, of course I had to help somehow, right? Being the eldest pulak tuh. Kena jadi contoh to siblings.

I went to Voir to buy long sleeved T-shirt for I'd bought a few there a couple of years ago. Selesa giler. Now, out of stock. the salesgirl told me to go to another outlet in Sunway Piramid. Insya-Allah, I'll go then.

I'd made plans to go out with this guy on watching a movie. But, things didn't work out. The plan was made ages ago (exaggerate much). Just that he got back with his ex-gf. And I just don't want to get in the way, you know. Be it if we go out as friends, but still, tak sampai hati oh. It might hurt some other person's feelings. I'm pretty suck at relationship. Haha. I'm really the old school type to be honest. Like waiting for the guy to make the first move, for example. I used to like the type of guy who kept to themselves like tak layan girls la. Maybe to me, they seems like an easy target kot. Yalah, senang kot sebab nanti the attentions goes to me instead of layan-ing girls lain. Besides, I'm super sensitive. Cannot accept la if my guy sibuk layan orang lain while I waited for him or something. Guess that's why the right person takes such long time to be found. Or maybe he's near me but oh what the heck. Sigh.

Actually, I'm too tired to write anything now.

I cried oh every time I listened to this song. =(

Cuz I no Superman.

2010-07-26T22:32:00.003+08:00

I realized that my old car’s road tax has expired. I was like, boleh masuk jail ke if tak renew? Agak bodoh la kan.

My house is a mess. Whoever got maid or house mom should be thankful oh. Well, not so bad la my house actually but habuk sikit with toys everywhere. Yelah, Bahirah call me Mrs. Monk. Don’t worry, that’s what holiday is for…, spring cleaning. Well, it’s more like after-tornado cleaning. Muahaha. Oi, don’t tell mama aw. Adam and Aisyah to be blame la for blasting the house with their toys. Who’s going to clean them up? M-E. Sigh.

Guess I’m not watching Eclipse. I’m really looking forward to watch Breaking Dawn instead. Some said that Eclipse is a yawn worthy. Oh, well. I’m waiting to see Renesmee and Jacob pun.

Btw, there are so many awfully cool songs on mainstream. I totally adore I Like It by Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull. The beat makes me wanna dance you know. I’m thinking of going to Red Box (some karaoke place at the Curve) with Fana. I got this idea back when I was in college a few weeks ago. If jadi la kan. Then, this song by Mike Posner; Cooler Than Me. The sound of the singer sounds like Drake in Drake and Josh but then it just some party-looking guy singing that song. Haha. Oh, oh, oh. I adore Katharine McPhee’s Terrified (feat. Zachary Levi). Who knew that Chuck can sing too. Cute oh Chuck. Oh, shut up, Raes. He’s adorable in his geeky way, okay! =p

My tummy got buncit already. And my butt is getting bigger. What a major disaster. Make it double oh. I consult mama and she said, “Hello! You’re growing, okay like you’re a woman now. Deal with it the fact that awak sudah tua. Haha. Btw, your body looks fine to me. Mama dulu lagi ah skinny, takde curves sangat.”

(Ma, at least ramai hot guys tried to tackle mama time mama muda. I got none oh. Well, a few la but countable kot. ahaha.)

Went out with Hilal last Sunday. Hilal asyik main tingkap. Next time I have to sediakan tissues and bukak pintu cepat-cepat, kan Hilal? Oh, sorry can’t tell why la kan. Mengaibkan je, rite? LMAO. Hilal, sorry sebab tak jumpa a pair of shoes that you want to buy. =(

I’m still looking for custom made dog tag. So, fair and square la kan?

Superman by Joe Brooks

I Like It (feat. Pitbull) by Enrique Iglesias

Cooler Than Me by Mike Posner

Somebody’s Baby by Phantom Planet

Terrified (feat. Zachary Levi) by Katharine McPhee

Kissin You by Miranda Cosgrove

Something About Love by David Archuleta

If We Ever Meet Again (feat. Katy Perry) by Timbaland

Begging You by Madcon

The Boxer

2010-06-01T09:32:00.000+08:00

I am just a poor boy.
Though my story's seldom told,
I have squandered my resistance
For a pocketful of mumbles,
Such are promises
All lies and jest
Still, a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest.

When I left my home
And my family,
I was no more than a boy
In the company of strangers
In the quiet of the railway station,
Running scared,
Laying low,
Seeking out the poorer quarters
Where the ragged people go,
Looking for the places
Only they would know.

CHORUS
Lie-la-lie.....

Asking only workman's wages
I come looking for a job,
But I get no offers.
Just a come-on from the whores
On Seventh Avenue
I do declare,
There were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there.

CHORUS

Then I'm laying out my winter clothes
And wishing I was gone
Going home
Where the New York City winters
Aren't bleeding me,
Leading me,
Going home.

In the clearing stands a boxer,
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that laid him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame,
"I am leaving, I am leaving."
But the fighter still remains

CHORUS

Screw me

2010-05-25T23:49:00.011+08:00

"Aisyah, I'm off to college next week. Jaga rumah elok-elok, okay?" Aisyah replied, "Huh? Sape nak gosok baju Aisyah?" I was at the verge of tears. At least she's going to miss me. Sob. I just know it. (Toughen up sikit, Zue!) Yes, I know. But still la kan.

I'd made a promise to myself that I WILL NOT EVER further studies away from home. Sebab menyusahkan pergi dan balik! Ha! If I got the call to go overseas, why not right? Well, depends on the circumstances la kan.

One thing for sure, I want to score with flying colours. And, I would like to pursue my degree in English for Professional Communication (I think that was the name). Sometimes geram jugak bila dah fail at one point, baru nak sedar. Astaghfirullah. What am I saying? Like Izura said, "You must be optimistic."

Mama was upset just now. And I went all crying non-stop for almost three hours. I texted Izura and Nadia. Nadia said, "Zue, aku tau kau strong. Dah banyak benda Allah duga kau. Sebab dia sayang kat kau, Zue. Now, you got the second chance, prove to everybody that you can do it. Lantak ah ape orang nak cakap. Hanya Allah n kau je tau ape yang kau nak."

Insya-Allah, Nad. Izura and Nad, thank you aw. Sob.

I feel so sad to leave everything. Well, not everything la. Undies kena bawak aw (haha). Padahal, rumah still kat situ jugak en?

The difference is that the surrounding and the casualties of it, the people and all are the things that I'll miss out.

You guys, whoever is reading this, I love you all aw. Contact me okay on the phone. If can, everyday please. Pretty please with sugar on top. :)

Currently I'm listening to Chris Brown's So Cold. I cried oh every time dengar. Ye, I'm a sucker for these love thingy songs. So what? Here is the little quotes from the song:

If you ever see her
If you ever meet her
If you ever get a chance to sit down, talk to her
Then tell her it's so cold
It's so cold, it's so cold
Here without her
And tell her I miss her
Tell her I need her
Tell her I want her

Hello! :)

2010-05-24T13:22:00.005+08:00

It's been a while kan, since I post something here. I was having this laid back moments waiting for my PSPM results. Hang out with my family and friends, facebooking, downloading songs, becoming bibik full time and stuff. Everything was pretty normal.

Then, the day arrived; Results Day. So, I checked online and voila, i flunked my biology and again, it was a slap on the face. It's written down there that I'm qualified to repeat the whole sem. Yes, I went all emotional and cried my heart out. I told my parents and Mama was like, "Uhm, awak nangis pun tak guna."

I know that I'd disappointed my parents. Sigh.

And so, I made my choice to repeat matriculation all over again.

Wish me luck, folks.

FYI: To those who I'd made plans to go out with, I'm sorry. I never know that this will happen. Insya-Allah, I'll call or text okay.

To you guys: Izura, Sopi, Fana, Dania, Nishant, Ana, Bahirah, Teha, Nadia; TQ for your support.

Forget me not tau :(

Till we meet again,
Siti Zuleikha

When It's Over by Sugar Ray
Stuck In the Moment by Justin Bieber
No Surprise by Daughtry

Preg-ish

2010-05-10T22:26:00.002+08:00

I turned off my engine and went straight to Mydin while my thumb punched the censor of the car key. I checked on my new LG Lollipop (emphasizing the new word) and check two inbox; one from Fana and the other from Halim. Of course, I’d check the latter first. Hehe. Then, went to Fana’s. The first sentence starts with my name with gazilionth exclamation marks (I was just exaggerating). She asked me if I can join her to One Utama since she’s going to college soon and everything needs to be brand new kan, Fana? LOL! At first I was like undecidable whether to go or not for I can’t go out during the weekdays but then, I told Mama about it and she was like, “La, go la! But balik jangan went out lama sangat.” I was giddy all over and replied to Fana instantaneously.

I tried on the flare blouse that I bought at Topshop. It looks good on me. At first, I thought I need a belt for it. For I look like a preggies (pregnant lady).

Fana’s mom tag along. Well, aku yang tag along. Sibuk je kan Zue ni? Muahaha.

Since Fana didn’t have her breakfast or something like that, we had a drink at Chocolate Lounge. It wasn’t too pricey. Affordable gak la in comparison to that Spaghetti at Delicious. I had this dark chocolate thing and Fana had this milky chocolate drink. We snapped a few pictures and we went for Fana’s ‘scavenging hunt’. HAHA!

At last I bought this blouse that Fana’s mom had chosen for me. Thank you, aunty. Kudos to you. And Fana, too. Fana bought a pair of jeans and this cute white flare blouse (nama dia eh).

P/S: Thank you Fana and Fana’s mom. I had so much fun with you guys. Lots of love.

Poker Face by Lady Gaga

Little Wonders by Rob Thomas

Dreams are like hidden treasures.

2010-05-09T21:11:00.002+08:00

I’m sick and tired of being told what to do or what not to do. Sick of getting ignored and trying hard for an attention. Sick of always listening to instead of doing the talking. Sick of always care for others while all I want was someone to hug me and assure that everything will be alright. Sick of you and sick of everything.

The world is such a miserable place to live in. With all the pollution and stuff. But in my situation this got nothing to do with that. I mean sometimes I feel like this is so unbearable. Referring to ‘this’, it seems more like my life. I want to be happy all the time, stop worrying about the rest for once in my life and enjoy every moment. But how could that happen at one go? Allahuallam. Even if it does happened, it would last merely a few minutes, or give it an hour or so.

I remembered watching Oprah about this African lady in Zimbabwe. When a woman came to her village asking her on what are her dreams, she merely replied, “Educations.” And something about moving to the states to pursue a degree, masters and later on a pHD. The woman that was representing an organization for the poor or something told her that her dreams are achievable. So, the African lady went to fetch a pen, a piece of paper and a tin can. With the pen and paper, she wrote down whatever her dreams were and kept the paper in the can and buried it. Every time she achieved one of her dreams, she would go back and find the can and tick on them.

It occurred to me that my heart was aching with what I want and so I did the same like her. Sod the tin can and burying stuff okay. And after I that, I re-read my letter of my dreams and I finally set my goals on achieving them. It lifts me up for a bit. That piece of paper is like a map and the dreams are like the hidden treasures.

I think it’s really a good way on writing down whatever you want on a piece of paper. It gives you a draft or guidelines in achieving your goals.

Pyramid (feat. IYAZ) by Charice
Boston by Augustana
Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) by Eurythmics

The C word

2010-05-08T10:52:00.002+08:00

For the past few days, I feel lonely. Seeing that my best friend got married, others got boyfriend and all that seems so weird kot. I mean, wow, time flies so fast where I’m now nineteen and still single. Paling kesian; single. But at the same time, I’m glad though.

I feel grateful for being single. Like no need to worry on taking care of the bf feelings and all that. Sometimes I feel like I’m not ready enough on being into a relationship. Maybe I’m afraid of commitment. To be honest, sometimes I layan other guys or thinking about other guys during my previous relationship. It feels like I’m cheating behind his back whilst I would get mad to my bf if he layan other girls. That’s totally not fair, right?

That’s just not mature enough. If you’re committed to a relationship, of course you give and take in that relationship. Don’t get too strict yet linear. I don’t know. I’m not some kind of Dr. Phil or something. I remembered a good friend of mine said that, “Why do we need a stranger to be in love with? Macam tak cukup je kasih saying yang mak dan ayah bagi. Besides, when you got older and married, how would you feel when (if you’re a guy) seeing a guy come right up at you with your wife and said something like, “Oh your wife ni dulu ex-gf i.” Of course you would have some bad thoughts linger in your mind on what your wife had done with her past relationship kan? Same goes to the female too.”

I think that’s why Islam has given us some guidelines on relationship to non-muhrim. Simply said to cegah maksiat and worst, fitnah. Everything got tangled up at one point. Like family masuk campur, people talking about you behind your back, Allah tak bless whatever you’re doing.

Takut giler if that things happen.

Iris by Goo Goo Dolls

Breakfast show at Fly.fm rocks!

2010-05-06T16:26:00.002+08:00

After sending Aisyah to school, I was listening to Fly.fm when I heard this interesting breakfast show by Ben, if I’m not mistaken, regarding on this quotes by a girl who confess on dating her boyfriend’s best friend after she had a fight or break up with him. Either way, I’m not sure but she said her boyfriend begged her to come back to him and he was crying all over.

This cause quite a stir for Ben said that after the girl’s confession, everybody was sending out texts or calls to give out a piece of their mind. I was smiling all the way throughout the journey. I mean, sure, that girl is a shit. Literally. I mean, why in the world you date your boyfriend’s buddy? Like, dude, I mean, girl, shouldn’t you know about the law of dating that is to not dating your boyfriend’s buddy even if you broke up with him? That’s just absurd.

Ha! You must have noticed me saying that I smiled in the car. I got this sudden vague memory towards a person that I know going through this situation but it wasn’t exactly the same but, yeah, the fact that the boyfriend cried for her was thoroughly the same.

It’s like perempuan tu loony sebab bodoh giler nak mati sebab buat a guy like that. Malu doh kat kaum hawa yang lain. Yes, memang some guys pun main kayu sepuluh but SOME la kan? Come on la. Show some dignity boleh tak?

Chickenpox, chicken.

2010-04-28T15:24:00.003+08:00

Aisyah was infected with chickenpox way back when I had my final exam in KMNS. Somehow, Adam caught it at the moment. He got something like rash on the nose at first and the very next day, the whole body. He was okay, then he started to feel itchy and all. We used Daun Semambu (I think that's what it called) and a bit of tumeric (kunyit) to bath him, while that Semambu leaves were scattered on his bed to avoid the itchiness when he sleeps. Alhamdulillah, I had encountered this back when I was in Standard Three. I hope I won't get infected by it again. Though high immunization is vital to prevent the second chickenpox. (OMG! Entah apa la yang aku merepek.)

I was at the verge of tears every time seeing Adam crying or moaning about that rashes. Hold on, lil' bro.

Okay, I've done with Alyson Noel's Evermore. Now, reading V. C. Andrews' Flowers in The Attic & Petals in the Wind. I'm still looking for Scandal by Kate Brian and Kiss in the Dark by Lauren Henderson. Sigh, these books were out early this year but heck, the book-shipping to Malaysia would take years. Mama said, "I told you, if you study in UK, sure you'll get to buy new books like everyday." (So on and so forth, she lectured me. Hey, Ma, ever thought of being one? Muahaha. Joke, joke.)

I told Mama that I need some new undergarments (teehee) and she said, "Go malam ni la, okayh?" Then, she quickly suggested that I go with Fana after Zohor. I was thrilled beyond words to go and shopping for my undergarments? That's weird. Muahaha. But then, Fana was out for some voluntary work at the Zoo Negara. Sob. I don't know who to ask. Maybe some other time. It can wait anyway.

A gram, not kilogram

2010-04-25T23:22:00.002+08:00

I need to exercise. Like pronto! I'm gaining weight, i guess for I can't stop eating. Muahaha. During my time at college, I was not that skinny nor fat but at home with all mama's cooking; the weight keep rising. My belly looks like as if I'm pregnant with two months. Oh, no. I really need that flat stomach back.
Any suggestion?

Anyhoo, I can't get enough of this movie showing on HBO; Ghost Town.

By the way, I guess I'm not into blogging now. I don't know. Maybe because every time I'm ready to type it all down, my mind end up with a blank page instead. Tsk tsk.

Fat Chances.

2010-04-23T21:49:00.001+08:00

Alhamdulillah for I had tons of fun with Fana and Shafiq. We went to One Utama. And guess who was the driver? Me. Muahaha. I was rather scared for this was the first time I drove my friends to somewhere that was quite far (far la sangat; 15 minutes je kot without the traffic la kan). I was nervous la to be honest for I used my Kembara. Yup, the hand-me-down car. Like buruk kot. Sorry, korang. Kereta saya buruk.

We had lunch (lunch ke?) at Delicious Cafe. We were undecidable whether to eat at Seri Melaka or Delicious Cafe. I had Aligo Oligo Spaghetti (did I get that right?) and a drink by the name Death for Iced Chocolate. I wouldn't say it's to die for but it was okay. By the way, the spaghetti costs me RM15.90. Cheap kan? Not! I was speechless for the price was too pricey. Yang tak boleh blahnya, the spaghetti was fried with garlic JE! like wth? Oh well, dah rezeki en. Shafiq was smart for he had that Death for Iced Chocolate. Smart for a guy, he is. Muahaha. Fana ordered this garlic bread with mushroom soup but the waitress brought her only garlic bread. Then, she asked the waitress that she asked the first one. But the waitress got it all wrong. The waitress must be fired for this misunderstanding (in your dream, Zue). Oh, what the heck.

Me and Fana went to Zara. I saw this cute shoes. And I was literary squeaking like a mice when I saw that stripe orange-y ballet shoes. And this Malay guy whom works there was folding the new t-shirts and he turns his head (he's rather good looking though. Okay, what am I crapping about) and he smiled. Maybe he thinks I was crazy for doing that. LOL!

Moving on, we went to Gap. OMG! That cute guy was there. But he's rather short, though. Besides, he's the type that I would say; Oh! he's cute. And that just it. Nothing more. Fullstop. No crush or head over heels for. Like nada. Total nada.

Next stop was Accessorize, Topshop (sigh, no porcupine socks anywhere and I bought a blouse that Fana chose for me), Topman and Dorothy Perkins. We went to La Senza. The PJ's was cute.

After we had spend our money, we went off. Agak traffic but then I nearly bumped into a big lorry that weighed almost a tonne. I was about to take the right lane and Shafiq was like "WEI!" and Fana was like "WEI!" and I was like, "WEI!"

Nasib tak kena langgar. Astaghfirullahalazim. Shafiq was like, " Aku takut doh." Haha.

We had fun throughout our trip to One Utama. Alhamdulillah. Wish we can do that again soon. Insya-Allah.

Lots of love, Zue :)

If We Ever Meet Again by Timbaland feat. Katy Perry

Alas!

2010-04-15T22:59:00.005+08:00

At last, I've finished off with matriculation programme. Like gone, vamoosed, gone with the wind. Sigh, it's been ages since I wrote here last month. All the hardships that I've endured, hope it'll pays off during those hellish days in KMNS.

Well, I'm not saying it was hellish. But it was okay la. Like 50-50. Btw, I miss my friends in KMNS and I've learned a lot back there. THOSE are the things that I'll cherish most. Seriously, tooooooo many memories and words can't actually describe it all.

I've learned to play volleyball, basketball, tennis and etc. Mind you, during high school, I actually loathed those games. For i prefer playing sports that uses more legs like marathon and horse riding.

Ah, I miss TiVo. I mean television. Miss CSI New York (Edi Caheill is so freaking darn cute). Exaggerate much. LOL!

Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz feat. Ludacris
Need You Now by Lady Antebellum
Hey, Soul Sister by Train

Prison Break.

2010-03-07T13:12:00.000+08:00

One more month to go!

Vanilla Sky

2010-02-28T00:31:00.002+08:00

I’ve been looking for Magnolia scented shower gel everywhere. Like everywhere, okayh. Marks & Spencer had one but the smell doesn’t get to my sense of smell. Just then, I went to Body Shop in Subang Parade. I saw this vanilla perfume oil. And I was enchanted by the smell. It was like a slap on the face for this is like what I’ve been looking for in a perfume. It’s smell of sticky sweetness. And it lingers everywhere in my nose, mind and soul. Ahaha.

I just got to have that perfume right now. But heck, I can’t. I got another three bottles of other Body Shop’s perfumes back at home. So, I’m in desperate need to finish them off. GRRR! I want that vanilla perfume desperately. Sedih je.

I’ve watched Baby (feat. Ludacris) by Justin Bieber and OMG! I LOVE JB. He is so freaking cute and trying to get to the girl he fell with (in the video). Like, awww. How sweet. Wish I had a guy chasing after me like that. LOL!

I got so much to tell but I kind of lost it somewhere in my cranium. HA! I went horse riding this morning. I rode Spirit; the Dalmatian pony. He got a grey (actually white but we called it grey for horses) coat with black spots on his body. One thing about Spirit is that he bites. Yes, biting everyone who gets on his way. Especially to those who’s putting on his saddle. Ouch!

Alhamdulillah, everything went well during the training. I finally got my back to straighten up each time during cantering. I had a major problem of bending my body forward. And the results were always the horse getting faster and faster at cantering for he can’t feel my weight on his backbones and it gives them the signal to gallop instead. Besides, when I bend forward, my hands, too, will move forward and the bit in the horse mouth and the reins starts to loosen and hence, the idea of me giving them the liberty to gallop to the end of the world. It makes them unstable, actually.

Allah, esok balik KMNS. Sedih. Sob2.

Her Diamonds & Someday by Rob Thomas
Baby (feat. Ludacris) by Justin Bieber
Whataya Want From Me by Adam Lambert

Hypocrites

2010-02-05T22:52:00.001+08:00

I don’t know how to write this. But I’ll try my best.

First of all, I found out that a person really hates me. The reason was for I always came to her room and befriended with all her roommates. Yes, it sounds silly. But that’s the truth. I myself don’t get it too. I mean, you can be friends with anybody right? Is there like any law that condemned us to having many friends but none is okay?

I don’t mind if she slams me. But who the ruddy hell is she to blame her roommates too. I’m sorry if you’re not cool with me but at the same time who are you to refrain them from befriended me? At least, you got you’re so called buff up boyfriend. (Dahlah dayus dia pergi ugut roommate ko sendiri. Ape la yang ko tau pun kan?)

Another thing, and another person, yang sibuk nak jadi orang tengah ni pehal? I don’t give a fcuk la you got 3.9 for last sem. I’m so sorry for you that in order for you to gain friends, you tell bad stories behind me. Like how immature you are. Then, expect people’s sympathy by crying your heart out. Don’t waste your energy la. Hypocrite you are because you once told me that you don’t like her cos she is gedik. Now, sape gedik sekarang? Huh?

Now, the person who share the same room with me. you always acting nice to me when you want something. For instance, you asked me to help with your project. Serious, I helped you sincerely. But after that, you treat me like I’m a stranger. Worst, you told everybody that I’m cynical. Like, heck? Wtf la wei.

Thanks to this kind of people, it makes me realize that we can never shut people’s mouth and we have to be patience in dealing with this stupid person by ignoring them. Yes, ignore. I know it’s hard dengan muka diorang yang suka mencebik dan mengutuk di belakang. But we have Allah SWT. Ask for his guidance, insya-Allah, he’ll help you.

Someone's Watching Over Me by Hilary Duff

Tired

2010-01-25T23:43:00.005+08:00

My leg hurts. I got bruises on both legs.

Reason: Batu Maloi Cave.

We went through lots of obstacles in the cave. Back then, I didn't think of finishing the course but more to keeping up with the next obstacle. Then, my legs started to cramp and i got blisters. Way to go, Zue. Just then, there's this one guy helped me to a cane that he made from dead wood. He was really caring for he walked with me and when we met though the recess time that he kept on asking whether my legs still bugging me. I wish he was someone else actually. But, that's okay. Thanks, Shah. I owe you.

Letih sungguh.

Nite, people.

Electrify by MuteMath
Backfire by MuteMath
I Can Wait Forever by Simple Plan

High School

2010-01-25T00:32:00.002+08:00

I was doing my Math tutorial on Concept Practice for chapter 3 while Enrique’s Iglesias was spinning on my iPod. This song reminded me of this particular day at my previous school.

During Perhimpunan back when I was in Form 5 and K was strumming his guitar (heck, nak exam pun sempat lagi) while sitting on the cemented floor. He was a prefects back then and got some immunity to the school law kot. HAHA! I was kneeling on the floor to fetch something inside my red Puma bag and he was surrounded by girls from my class and some others girls who adored him. Well, the reason I think they adored him is because they seems to goggle at him, you know, as if he was the Music God. LOL!

Anyhoo, as I was saying, he saw me and asked whether do I like Enrique Iglesias and duh, of course I said, “I adore him, you know,” and then he continued asking whether I fancy that Hero song. Before I had the chance to reply, he strummed the guitar and that song was in the air.

He may not have the greatest voice ever but yeah, it touches me you know. Well, for nobody had sang for me before. Hey, birthday song doesn’t count okay, heck.)

Okay, now I’m crying. Entah, I can be so emotional sometimes. That’s the thing, I’m a sucker for sentimental stuff, I guess. I want to go back to school life. There were so many memories.

Back in high school, I started to get to know music, Taekwondo, though I hate it so much but thanks to Sir VJ, Sir Sanjay (snort) for helping me out throughout the lessons and competitions I’ve been, ups and downs in school, countless fights and fun we had in school; sneaking out from class to hang out in library or music room, mengomel every time Datin the principal made her speech during Perhimpunan. But during the end year there in SMK Bukit Jelutong was when we had our graduation day. And we play a lot like not really taking SPM seriously. So, heck, there’s the 5A’s on my head.

When We First Met by Hellogoodbye
White Flag by Dido
Graduation (Friends Forever) by Vitamin C

Tooth Fairy

2010-01-25T00:23:00.001+08:00

We watched Tooth Fairy for the late night movie. The movie was not that great. Same old, same old story about make believe in fairytale. I mean the jokes were okay la. But if you’ve been watching the spy next door, I think it sum up all the same. Not to mention, behind us during the show, were 3 people; 2 female and a man who were ‘darn good’ with special effects. The female were more like a pair of hyenas actually. They were laughing loudly and commented on the scenes. I and mama were like wtf, la. Mama kept asking loudly, “Kaklong, do u happen to have a pair of cork?”

I think those three behind us are stupid, I think. They just don’t get the signs when we perli diaorang. Sumpah bodoh. I mean come on la, it was obvious doh that they are trio of stupido because they laugh at some stupid jokes that none of us in the room laughed at. But when the smart jokes came out, we all laughed except them. What I’m trying to emphasise on is that they don’t understand Americans jokes. HAHA!
I mean if you don’t know much of English movies, that is going to be a problem. Besides, movie is where you watch and understand the story. Watch, listen and understand first before you give out your opinion. About this trio, they don’t respect other viewers. Ada this one guy simply yelled, “Diam ah, wei.”

My mom gave out a sigh of relief. Thanks to those trio, we were not really into the movie. I was busy cursing under my breath. After the movie ended, we stand up and I turned to look at their face and I simply muttered out to my mom and said, “Nilah yang bising tadi tuh.”

Oh, what the heck.

Fight for This Love by Cheryl Cole
Someday by Rob Thomas
The Saddest Song by Until June
Smile by Uncle Kracker

Fever

2010-01-21T23:31:00.005+08:00

I got running nose and a sore throat. And I think my right ear is blocked. I’m not sure. Don’t tell Sorfina about this for she would yell saying, “Wei, pergi jumpa doctor la!” Well, I’m not going. I hate to wait for my turn when I go to the clinic or hospital.

Actually, I’m about to say a lot more but every time I booth up the laptop then, my mind went blank. Like some sort of a black hole in it.

I watched American Idol today and one of the contestants is married and got two kids. His son has autism. And he said he wants to do better for his family or something. Well, he sang Frank Sinatra’s Somebody’s Watching Over Me (if I’m not mistaken) and he scored four yes’ from the judges. And another story was from a guy who went to prison for robbing a bank when he was fifteen. Yup, fifteen. He’s twenty-five now. It was touching hearing him saying how it makes him sad when he saw his father cried when he was sentenced to jail. And the reason he’s trying out for AI is to make it up for his parents and he don’t want them to shed another tears.

My best friend, Alyssa is getting married. The wedding will be on 13th February. I told my mom about this. Okay, here’s a bit of info on my best friend: she’s the same age as I am. And her future husband is 22 this year. They get to know each other in Jordan. Both parents agreed on this engagement. Both adores each other (though I haven’t seen him yet), but by the way she talks about him; she’s head over heels for him. Aly, I’m so happy for you. Mama said, Alhamdulillah, jodoh dia dah sampai. (My mom gave me the you’re-next-to-get-married look).

My mom saw this wedding boutique or something and she was like clapping her hands and said, now I know where to buy you your wedding dress. She was like as happy as if she got-a-kitten-for-her-birthday kind of happy. I just shrugged.

I don’t feel lonely though. But I think I miss the days where my bf texts me and called just to check up on me. But nah, I don’t see the potential of having one right now. At the same time, I feel like I want one. I have this sudden hesitation because maybe I’m afraid that he would leave me or played me out (I have enough traumatic experiences, thank you) or maybe I’m afraid that I won’t be faithful to him (though that usually the opposite who did that).

Single & Soulmate by Natasha Beddingfield
The Saltwater Room by Owl City
Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble'
Better by Boyzone

Someone Somewhere

2010-01-20T17:15:00.002+08:00

OMG!!! Sweet giler klip video ni. Even though it stinks, i mean the garbage. The girl look like Ashley aka Alice Cullen.

Missionary mandatory

2010-01-20T15:23:00.003+08:00

I’ve been listening to Ashley Tisdale’s Hair. I like the way she express her pleasure-ness (kot) every time the guy play with her hair. Entahla. It just sounds sweet to me kot. Come to think of it, who wouldn’t want a guy to play with your hair, right? I would totally doze off every time if somebody plays with my hair. Well, one of my floormates massaged my head for I had a bad headache last time. I was listening to her talking (while massaging my head) and I remembered that I was saying, “Hmmm… Okay… Hmmm…” Then, when I woke up later, the room was dark and I went to her asking what happened and she said I fell asleep like a baby. Heck.

My hair is not perfect like those models or artists. It’s shoulder in length and straight. Mama told me that back when I was smaller, my hair length was way down till my hips. But the curls were halfway to the end. I want my locks back. Sigh. Never mind.

I’m on a mission in keeping my hair long enough.

It’s getting pretty boring on Facebook. Like now you know. After logging in, got this stupid updates on some of the applications. I hate them. Boring, boring, boring. You know what, the semester break is finally coming to its end. And I got this shitty PMS. Well, having the ‘month’. Painful oh. I told mama about how I hated it. and she said, hey, it shows that you’re a woman okayh. I was like, fine.

OMG, what’s really going on?
Boredness is really making me dying.

Live like We’re Dying by Kris Allen
Who Would’ve Known by Lily Allen
Beating My Heart by Jon McLaughlin

Judgement Day

2010-01-18T19:14:00.004+08:00

I was shaking. I couldn’t face it. Wouldn’t. Can’t. My palm was dry and pale. The room was cold, not because of the air-cond but more or less because of the proceedings. It was like waiting for your death sentence. It was deafening. I never thought that a room could be so deafening and yet the only noises were the one from the judge and the lawyer. Also, from the plaintiff and the defendant. I was scared for myself, my parents and everything. I would go anywhere but here. I felt like running towards the door and put everything behind. If only…

I was sitting by myself. I wish I had someone to hold onto. Maybe the woman in front of me who kept sobbing uncontrollably after her case was closed. I felt for her. I want to reach for her but I felt like it was not right. But I prayed and wishes her the best. I just cried silently. As the proceeding continue, I was alone on the bench, and I was holding on to the Al-Quran as if my life depends on it. At one point, the chill gets to the bones that I shivered feverishly. I thought that was just embarrassing. But who cares right? In that room, nobody ought to judge anyone except that particular one. I was tired waiting. And I haven’t eaten breakfast, sleepless night because of tossing and turning on the bed. I was restless. My eyes felt groggy but I was alert somehow rather. The adrenaline kept pumping even though I tried to meditate and kept myself calm. Again, I cried. But as I looked at everyone, I just sort of hate them for they can really compose themselves from crying. But either way, they were just as nervous as I am. And we all looked pale. As if the blood was sucked out by a group of vampires.

Alhamdulillah, it went well. For now. But I wish everything would be normal.

Sometimes I wish I was not the first child because I’m tired of being the leader, for example, taking care of everyone. I want somebody to take care of me instead. To patch me up. I’m just tired. All I want is rest. Or let someone else worried about everything. I know, I must not give up but a wish is what your heart makes.

“You tell me this is for the best,
So tell me why am I in tears…”
Justin Bieber’s Down To Earth

Daddy's Little Girl by Frankie J

Down to Earth by Justin Bieber
So Small by Carrie Underwood
Time for Miracles by Adam Lambert
Fix You by Coldplay

Look After You by The Fray

All I can say; in your dreams, babe.

Baby, It's Fact

2010-01-16T22:39:00.003+08:00

My head felt heavier every second now. Guess I’m tired. Man, another half an hour to prepare for late night movie. Yeah, watching The Spy Next Door. Give me that Neslo! Anna, ingat tak memory kita kat kafe C? LOL!

My head are filled with thoughts of:

· Magnolia scented smell
· Body Shop's Honey conditioner
· My hair?
· My leg?
· Foot?

Let's Just Fall In Love Again by Jason Castro
Bounce by The Cab
When We First Met by Hellogoodbye

Sweet Home Alabama

2010-01-16T16:10:00.004+08:00

Melanie: Why would you want to marry me?

Jake: ‘Cos I can kiss you anytime I want.

Awww, what a sweet thing to say. But then, heck, they kissed. Yup, they were ten years old. Just then, Melanie woke up from her dream. But she literally married to Jake after she got pregnant. Sigh. It was only after that, she went to New York to pursue her life as a fashion designer, leaving poor Jake all alone and literarily poor. And she got engaged to a rich guy (which I forgot his name but if you remember McDreamy from Grey’s Anatomy, I think you’ll just be in the same shoes as I am) and what more to give, her future mother-in-law the mayor of New York. Serious sweet oh this movie. This is the movie where you can watch it with you lover, partner or anything in between. But yeah, I watched it with my mom instead. Heck.

Btw, I cut my mom’s hair. Hey, I think with a bit of practice, I could be the next barber. LOL! Mama was lazy to go to the saloon instead and thereby, I stand as the new barber in the house, baby.

I went to Dorothy Perkins to get my new membership card. Ada this long sleeved t-shirt‘s with assorted colours, which I think, might come in handy. I bet the black and white ones suit the polka dot sleeveless shirt that Sorfina suggested for me to buy back in Cotton On, One Utama.

Oooh, I am so in love with cardigans right now. At the mo, I’m looking for sleeveless cardy. I saw on TV where one of the contestants in American Idol wore for her audition. A turquoise t-shirt with purple cardy. The colour may not click but it looks nice and cute to me.

I bought a book by Kate Brian. I had the sudden déjà vu thing when I started to rip off the plastic cover and when I started to read a few lines from it; I was shocked for I had bought the book last year. What a Beautiful Disaster. Well, I was waiting for my PDA to updating its software at the shop and so, there goes the disaster.

Sometimes I wonder why some people just don’t get the fact that I love to read. I mean, do you actually know those who read books without pictures on the pages? I mean who the heck are you telling that whatever I’m reading is rubbish? Habis, Al-Quran tu apa? Hello, from books we gain knowledge. And do you know that even Nabi Muhammad SAW pun suruh kita membaca. Now, who’s being narrow minded and stupid altogether. But again, I chose the safe side that is to SHUT UP. Yes, just because I’m shutting up or keep quiet doesn’t mean I’m dumb enough to argue. You see, sometimes, silence is the best policy. Now, eat that.

Heck, I got my MUET results... Band 4 je.

Mama cakap; asal teruk sgt? GCEO level boleh je dapat A1?
Adoi, words from future pHD holder.

Crawl by Chris B.

Art Of Love by J. Sparks feat. Guy Sebastian

The World Has Turned And Left Me Here

2009-12-27T09:38:00.004+08:00

Okay, I went to Facebook and read all people’s comment like hey, I’m not snooping around or anything but the status of everybody was there kan? Besides, Facebook is oh, so boring nowadays. Then, I read this one particular guy relationship status. Like his ex-girlfriend commented also. I know, it doesn’t and MUST NOT concerns me.

Ah, sudahlah Zue. Why would you concern about others and not you, yourself. Besides, nobody concern about you.

Maaf, bermonolog sebentar.

Yesterday, my family and I watches Sherlock Holmes. Spoilers ahead:

I HAVE NOT YET WATCH NEW MOON.

Ah, there’s the spoilers. LOL!

At first, mama was reluctant to watch this movie for she hates Sherlock Holmes. Go figures. But then I beg her (HAHA!) and said that this is Robert Downey Junior playing as Sherlock Holmes here. Like he’s the best okay. What more to give, Jude Law’s too. after watching this movie, I feel like wanting to read the books now. Spoilers: there’ll be a sequel coming up for Holmes mention the magic word; the case is re-open.

Love the movie. And Avatar, too. Sickeningly cool and jaw tightening moments when Jake Sully ride the Ikran and Pale the horse (PA-LEY). And sweet, too. When Neytiri asked him does he likes the other women warriors and he said I’ve already chosen. Like, aww. Sweet giler.

Ala, I miss horse riding. I miss Apple, Miguel, Monty, Tex, Cricket, Chip, Helios and other horses that I’ve been riding and adored.

I Still Believe by Hayden Panettiere
Secrets & Everbody Loves Me by OneRepublic

P/S: Weezer’s The World Has Turned And Left Me Here.

Saya kahwin...

2009-12-26T12:31:00.005+08:00

Euw, not! Not in a gazilion years.

Today, got a wedding in front of grandma's house. Well, her neighbour's daughter getting married.

Then, mama got this bizarre idea of my wedding in the future. She won't give me the details but man, her eyes were sparkling when she said those magic words; Kaklong's wedding.

Like she said, "Kaklong, cepat kahwin. Mama nak timang cucu."

I was ever so gapping at her. Like, "Huh? Mama sihat ke? Macam la ada orang nak kat kaklong. Kaklong cabar dia come straight to Mama and seek my hand for marriage."

Something To Believe In by Aqualung

Fix moi

2009-12-26T01:39:00.002+08:00

This broadband thing is a crap. Total C-R-A-P. First, it was blinking with green light, then blue. Next thing you know, blinking of red for I’m getting crankier any seconds now. Like FCUK la. Hah! I used that French Connection brand for that f word instead. Egg-tarded la.

The reason I’m getting crankier and crappier and crappier and crankier is because I HAVE NOT SIGN UP FOR UPU YET! See, what have I become. Zue the Hulk. The trademark of “you won’t like me when I’m angry.” Grrr. Such ass.

By the way, thanks Sorfina for that La Senza knickers. You’re the dog. I mean, you’re the man. Pandai cari size ye. Lepas ni shop for Mr. Jimmy. LOL!

I cried too many nights now. Well actually ever since I’m back at home. Shrug. Maybe sometimes I reminded of the old memories. One thing for sure, I want things to be normal. Especially here at home. I’m sick and tired of thinking what I’m capable of what to do and what not to do. Sick and tired for acting like everything normal in front of everyone knowing that the fact the main problem is making me falling to pieces. Sick and tired of being wanted or wanting others to patch me up. Sick and tired of crying and seeing others crying too. Sick and tired of staring at this laptop and typing while all I want is to hug my mom, my sister and brother that are at the next door.

There, I’m crying again.

Ugh, I hate to cry for it makes me look like I’m weak. Inside I urge and hush myself not to cry. But yeah, the tears strolling down the cheeks anyway.

Not to mention, we’ve got UPS in two weeks time and all I can think of is to vamoosed from that so called homey college. But then, they said you never solve a thing unless you face it. Well, more or less on what they said. One thing for sure, the world is not fair. True enough, right?

Baby, It’s Fact by Hello Goodbye.

P/S: Another fact, Facebook tersangat la snail.

Do you see what I see?

2009-12-19T10:51:00.004+08:00

People really know how to judge others. Maybe cos they just too afraid to admit that they are bloody wrong or really love to jump to the conclusion without actually see through the problem from every angle.

You can’t just accuse a person blatantly.

Okay, you said I had to admit it was my fault.

Is it? Is it my goddamn fault that you treat your man like dirt?

Then, you said when it comes to religion and sosiality (dude, giler wrong grammar you; social life), I’m a looser.

Hold on, setakat I tak tau lagu nasyid yang you nyanyi tu, doesn’t make me religion blind. Besides, I’m no ustazah and what makes you to be one? Think la. I pray to Allah everyday and do I have to tell others that I solat sunat sekali? I think Allah knows better.

I admit, I’d never hang out with my friends. Why? Oh, social life saya stinks. The truth is my mom wouldn’t let me for she’s afraid of my safety. Dulu, Malaysia was okay where the criminal doesn’t really show their face in the public. But know, almost every day, news have it that girls were being kidnapped, robbed, and rapped and worst, being killed.

But now, my mom still has the protective shield but I talked to her and now, I’m off to One Utama with my besties; Sorfina, Farhanah, and Shazalin.

Ciao, babe.

When the truth is prevailed, the consequences can be really hurtful

2009-12-18T23:26:00.002+08:00

I seriously don’t know how to say this. Just that it really brought me to tears thinking about it. Ah, there you go, miss sensitive. I cried and cried until my head feels like to burst. I know that every time I cried, it’ll give me headache.

I don’t know how to say this by writing.

But I’ll give a few hints…

Currently I’m listening to:

All The Right Moves by OneRepublic
Cry by Kelly Clarkson
A Beautiful Lie by 30 Seconds to Mars
Look What You’ve Done by Jet
Misery Business by Paramore
Down to Earth by Justin Bieber (heck, xde kaitan act but sikit2 je la)
Sorry by Jonas Brothers
Fuck You by Lily Allen
Chances by Five For Fighting
The Tip Of The Iceberg by Owl City
We Build Than We Break by The Fray
Ungodly Hour by The Fray

Wait, wait. Did I mention a few hints? Well, it’s a full list of songs actually. Somehow, they showed what I’m feeling right now and what I want at the mo. Check them out, kayh?

Abah said that a good friend of him used to say this; you can never have enough friends, but to have an enemy is too much.

Down the memory lane

2009-12-18T19:59:00.004+08:00

I had a dream last night. I was riding a white horse. He was rather tall. Around 17hh or something. I realized I was riding Ungaro (ang-ga-ro). Petra’s and the tallest horse in Malaysia by far. But he can’t beat those Arab’s horses from DBKL in Tasik Titiwangsa. Like, my aunty, Aunty Ena work there as an officer and she always competing in any prestigious competition like the FEI WORLD and KL Grand Prix (you don’t pronounce the x at the end; pree). Mama taught me that. Aunty Ena taught me on how to ride different horses with different temperament.

My first horse with her was Taruna. English for teruna. Lol. He was 15hh and chestnut colour coat. He was really patience and laid back. Then, we have Deli, as in the Deli France. He’s taller that Taruna but he was slightly younger like 5 years old. DBKL gave him to aunty to break him in.

Break in means you ride the horse which had never been ridden before.
Kira like you tame kan dia la. Ala, gi lah tengok Black Beauty lepas ni for further explanation ye.

So, I’d ridden Deli before. But it was a really traumatizing experience for I rode him and aunty told me to jump over a fence. I used to jump before but never the 40-60cm fence (around my waist je height). Dulu, it was a really small cross you know when I used to ride in MAFEC, TUDM, Sungai Besi. Back then I was 11 years old. Anyhoo, back to the story. So, I rode Deli and he was trotting actively. At the same time, I was feeling insecure. Just then, Deli stop right in the middle of the fence and swerved to the left.

Just then, I fell. My first fall.

I was rolling over the sand. Just when I taught the clock stop ticking, there I have it, my butt hurts, my feet soar, my hands was scraped onto the sand and left me with sand marks. I didn’t cry for I was afraid that aunty would yell at me. But, she was ever so worried sick. Deli was trotting back and forth around the paddock. And aunty called out his name. Amazingly, he followed my aunt’s words and came to her. I was afraid with Deli by then, but he came over me and nuzzled his muzzle at my cheek. As if he was trying to say sorry for letting me fell and let my butt hurts, my feet soar and my hands scraped onto the sand and left me with sand marks.

Turns out that Deli was too young and not ready to jump yet. But, Alhamdulillah, he’d been with aunty for five years now. And both are really an item. Aww, that’s so sweet. But a few years later after the incident, Taruna died of old age and his legs was not functioning well before. I miss you, Taruna. Remember when I rode you in the Bukit Kiara indoor arena? And you were really afraid of the whip that I was holding and you kept on cantering all around the arena. I was so sorry, dear. I didn’t know you were that whip-freak.

Jap, macam la Taruna boleh baca. Sob, sob.

Then we had this old horse, well, around 15 years old la actually. A normal horse lifespan would be around 25 years. So, this dark bay horse was named Pretender. After those two horses, Pretender was my soulmate. Haha. everybody knows that every time I came over to ride, they would say eh, Mrs. Pretender sudah mali. Just then, Pretender would kick his stall fence as if wanting to get out and greet me first before others did. He was an angel you know. And he can be really lazy. Haha. Ada this one guy, like comel giler selalu come over and talk to me. Syed ape ntah nama dia. But he looks like Chinese tau. He was really down to earth la. Dahlah terer giler jumping oh. Selalu menang competition. Back then I was in Form Two. He’d finished school by then. God, comel giler tau tak. But I think he thought me as a kid je. Nothing more. Aunty and that fella’s friend kan, cam selalu usik I dengan dia. Hehe.

Love, Hate and Vengeance

2009-12-18T19:07:00.001+08:00

At first you seem so vulnerable,
I was there for you,
And only you
To pick up the pieces.

But here you are
Stamping your foot on the ground
All the way
Shoveling dirt all around my face

I put everything aside
Your weakness
Your rudeness
Your bitchiness

I love you so much
Even my boyfriend and my girlfriends dumped me for that
For you is still a friend of mine
Take care now